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Evil Aliens
(2005)
Director: Jake West
Cast: Emily Booth, Jamie Honeybourne, Sam Butler
There are certain moments in your life that
you will remember greatly, like they happened
just a few minutes ago. I've described some of
mine in past reviews, and those moments were the
expected stuff, like driving a car for the first
time. But as a movie buff, I have a lot of key
moments in my past that have to do with movies.
Movies that basically blew me away when I saw
them for the first time. When I was young,
Disney movies like Snow White And The
Seven Dwarves and Pinocchio
made a big impression on me. As the years
progressed, certain movies that were more adult
in nature made an equal impact. I'll describe
one such episode in my life. I have a long-time
friend who is kind of my student when it comes
to movies. I have introduced him to many
memorable movies he probably wouldn't have seen
otherwise, such as Tromeo And Juliet, Death Wish 3, and
Rabid Dogs.
Well, one day we were at the video store, up to
watching another movie together, and it was one
time I was stumped - I had shown him so much
already that I was fresh out of ideas. Then I
saw Dead Alive on the shelf, and
it struck a bell. I remember I had read a review
of it that began with it saying it was so gory
that it was great, and I had stopped reading
right there so I wouldn't read any spoilers.
Anyway, I decided to pick the movie, telling my
friend, "I've heard this is good", and we took
it to his house to watch. Well, if you have seen
this movie, you can imagine the impact it made
not only on him, but on me as well. Despite my
film education being bigger than my friend, I
had never seen anything like it before. We both
became Peter Jackson fans, and we have seen all
his other films.
Now please let me go off that topic for a
moment and get onto a completely different
topic. (Don't worry, it will all make sense when
you get to the third paragraph of this review.)
I have long been fascinated by the idea that
there is extra-terrestrial life. I'm not really
talking about small stuff like fungus and
bacteria (though I am 100% convinced that small
life forms like that do exist on some of the
planets we have spotted in other solar systems.)
When I hear the term "extra-terrestrial life",
the first thing that pops into my head is the
idea of intelligent extra-terrestrial
life. I suppose that could include creatures
that we would consider "animals" back on earth -
some animals on our world occasionally show the
flicker of real thinking - but what I really
imagine are creatures that have the intelligence
level of humans, or even greater. On these
occasions when the thought of extra-terrestrial
life gets into my head, I often go into deep
thought as to just what would an intelligent
alien be like. I wonder what they would look
like. Would they have ears on the side of their
head, and two eyes above a nose and a mouth?
Logical thought on my part says that chances are
that would not be the case. Evolution on another
planet making a creature so close to humans in
many aspects seems very unlikely. But I also
wonder what they would be thinking of Earth and
the humans on it. Do aliens think that we are so
lowly compared to them that this explains why
they have not officially made contact with us?
Would an alien race that discovers us see us as
unpeaceful, with all our wars and crimes, and
think we should be wiped out?
Some of you probably have an idea by now as
to the kind of movie that I am writing about in
this review. If not, I will tell you now.
Evil Aliens (the title should have given
some of you slow folks a clue) is a movie about
aliens landing on earth, aliens who aren't
exactly thinking peaceful thoughts when it comes
to humans. But this is not your usual standard
serious-minded movie about alien invasion.
Evil Aliens is a movie that has
clearly been inspired by the early films of
Peter Jackson, definitely Dead Alive,
but also movies like Bad Taste and
Meet The Feebles. It should have
been a movie that I would have picked up right
away at the video store, but it wasn't. When I
first saw it and did research on it, I came up
with reviews from a number of folks who said it
was a bad rip-off of Peter Jackson. So I left it
alone. But as time went on, I started to uncover
an equal number of reports from other people who
said that this was a good homage of
sorts. The fact that there was so much
disagreement about the movie intrigued me,
enough so that I decided that I had to judge it
for myself. Here's the plot description that was
on the back of the Evil Aliens DVD
box: "Brace yourself for this jaw-dropping slice
of sci-fi horror lunacy! Gruesome mutilations,
inappropriate body probes, and pointy weapons
ranging from sports gear to chainsaws fill this
gore-drenched classic of giddy alien mayhem.
Looking for a new story, Weird Worlde TV
reporter Michelle Fox leads her crew to a small
Welsh farming town where residents are reporting
alien abductions and impregnations.
Unfortunately, the TV crews dramatic recreation
of the events turns downright nasty when the
real interstellar visitors arrive, and they're
hungry for more than a close-up!"
After watching Evil Aliens, I
think I can safely confirm what others have said
about it, namely the fact that it owes a great
deal to the (early) work of director Peter
Jackson. So much so, that if there had been no
Peter Jackson, I don't think that Evil
Aliens would exist, at least anywhere
near the form that it is in right now. Like
Jackson's early movies, it is an (extreme) black
comedy, making numerous attempts to mine humor
out of material that many would consider
disgusting. Namely, with a Dead Alive-like
enthusiasm for blood and gore. Although
Dead Alive still beats Evil Aliens
with the amount of blood and gore, Evil
Aliens at times sure tries hard to pile
on the goopy stuff. But the movie is influenced
by Jackson in other ways as well, not just with
the blood and playing it for laughs. There are
also a number of camera techniques, such as with
some cockeyed camera angles or the camera
quickly zooming close-up to the action, that
suggest Jackson as well. Call it an homage, or
even a rip-off, but if you watch it you can't
deny the movie is trying very hard to stand up
to Jackson. But despite all of this effort, I
didn't think that the movie worked. I'll start
with the performances. I feel that I should
mention up front that this is a British movie,
so it should come to no surprise that there are
accents. Having parents that are British, I
could make out the dialogue... most of the time.
There were some garbled words even I couldn't
make out (or made me need a few seconds to
figure them out in my mind), and I could only imagine
the greater difficulty someone not used to
hearing British accents would have with the
spoken dialogue of the movie.
It's kind of unfair of me to criticize actors
for speaking in the way they and their fellow
countrymen were raised, so I don't blame them
for that. I have something else to criticize
about their performances, but like their
accents, I can't blame them for this other
thing. There are signs throughout the movie that
show that the cast is a bunch of likable people
who are not without talent, so I can imagine
their internal pain when seeing them act in the
way they were no doubt told to act by the
director. Everyone in the cast acts "funny" - an
exaggerated style that makes them look like a
bunch of nincompoops. This sinks the movie
almost completely by itself. Evidently, director
West did not see that in Jackson movies like
Dead Alive, the actors play it
(mostly) straight. "Normal" reactions to the
absurd come across as ridiculous, and can be
funny. But acting "funny" in a movie like this
makes the actors seems stupid, and it's hard to
get involved with the plight of people who are
idiots. Director West (who also wrote and
produced the movie) doesn't just drop the ball
when it comes with dealing with the actors.
While Peter Jackson made good-looking movies on
a low budget, the look of this low budget movie
is lacking. It has a strange visual look, like
the ones you see on some modern British
television shows. (Was this shot digitally?)
Also, when the movie is out of rooms and
outdoors that are brightly lit (which is most of
the time), everything looks very murky, and it's
hard at times to make out what we're seeing.
This includes just about all the scenes with
the aliens and the mayhem they cause directly or
indirectly. I said there's a lot of blood and
gore in the movie, but the darkness and other
factors (like editing quickly to another shot)
make it hard to appreciate all the work the
special effects people did. The aliens
themselves come across just as murkily as the
gore. Except for the final shot of the movie, we
never get a clear look at the aliens because of
that editing and lighting. In the few scenes
where the lighting and editing are (somewhat)
better, the aliens then are wearing masks and
curious get-ups that make them look like all of
them are wearing black short-sleeved T-shirts.
Their motivations are just as curious; we never
get a real explanation as to why these
dim-witted aliens are here on Earth, or why they
leave humans they've captured unguarded on their
spaceship. There were other questions I had with
the movie, like: Why does the island that these
people come to have no boats handy for emergency
purposes or other reasons? Why does a bloody
windshield make the protagonists feel they can
no longer drive their vehicle to escape? How can
someone deal with a machete stab to the gut with
what is more or less a shrug? I found myself
focusing on these questions, because I found
most the movie surprisingly boring. It takes
forever for the action to get going, and despite
the eventual blood and entrails that spill
forth, it's all directed so badly that I felt no
enthusiasm, no sense of West cackling behind the
camera with glee. West may know the words, but
he shows no sign that he learned Jackson's music
as well.
Check for availability on Amazon (DVD - R
rated version)
Check for availability on Amazon (DVD -
unrated version)
See also: The High
Crusade, Night Of
The Creeps, Revenge
Of The Teenage Vixens From Outer Space
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