First a quick story on why this Inferno exists...unlike a real Hell, which may exist, I'll give you an explanation on WHY this one does.
Shortly after I got married my wife got a job...working at night. On weekends. That left me alone at home. So I rented a lot of movies. Being the normal type of guy that I am I went straight for the movies that had big [unwrite]ing monsters, sword wielding heroes, karate chopping crazy guys and spaceships. basically I mined out the sci fi/horror/action section pretty fast. and you know once you do that you start reaching for the bottoms of the barrels.
Yes, I saw movies that were hideous. I saw some that caused me physical pain. I even saw the Doom generation, the only movie to make me really really want to kill the people that made it. I thought to myself sometimes..."if only MST3K would ask me to do a segment on this movie!" (That's when MST3k was still on the air...if you don't know what MST3k is, you must learn, grasshopper) I lucked out. Badmovies.org, Stomp Tokyo and a bunch of other sites were available then to teach me...but in doing so they threw gasoline on the burning coals of the Inferno.
I'm too curious for my own good....I followed the burning path of film feces into the depths of movie hell. I wanted to see how bad or hoe "so bad its good" movies could be. You have not suffered until you watch the Doom Generation.....or MegaForce. in doing so I've trapped myself in a world where the enticement of a decent home video can lead to madness.
Deep in the Inferno, this is how the movies are judged. First the demons make a big plate of nachos and get a six pack. Then I sit down with them and watch the movies. If the demons of the Inferno are sufficiently entertained the movie is spared the horrors of the Gorge of Eternal Peril. Most can survive the judgement more or less intact....it only takes the slimmest amount of entertainment value to pass. A cool special effect, a bad-ass fight scene, maybe some dialogue that just hit the right buttons....amazingly there are movies that fail in finding even one of those redeemers.
Here's the rating scheme.....keep in mind your mileage may vary.....one man's gold is another man's crappy movie...
Five Devils: This is a must see for bad movie fans!! Its a totally enjoyable flick. Five devils means it probably shouldn't even be called bad! (So bad its good type flicks fall into this category a lot) The creme de la creme in cheesiness.
Four Devils: Not too shabby. It could be better, but hey, what can't be a little better? Well worth the rental fee.
Three Devils: This movie may have a few rough spots but its not too painful. Your personal mileage may vary. Worthy of a lazy afternoon and a six pack.
Two Devils: OW! Woe betide thee! Watching this movie is like swallowing a tack. It hurts, but there may be a few bits that make it worth watching.
One Devil: YOWTCH!!! Merciful Heavens! This movie sucks! Watch it at your own peril, because the cost may be your sanity!
Tombstone: AAAAYYYUUURGHH! Saints Preserve Thee! The very bowels of Lucifer's hell hath opened up to unleash this plague ridden turd upon thee! The cost may be your eternal soul! This movie can only be cleansed by an exorcist or fire!