Our film opens with bandleader Kay Kyser wrapping up another edition of his radio program. The grand finale allows the spotlight to fall on his featured performers: Ginny Simms, Harry Babbitt, Sully Mason, and the dour-faced comedy relief of trumpeter Ish Kabibble (a/k/a Merwyn Bogue). Chuck Deems (Dennis O'Keefe), the band's manager, watches in the wings with his girlfriend, Janis Bellacrest (Helen Parrish). Being Chuck's girlfriend has its perks and advantages, namely having Kyser and the gang perform privately for your 21st birthday party at stately Bellacrest Manor.

After the show, shadowy figures lurk about and Janis almost gets run over by a runaway car. Chuck assumes the driver was drunk, but Janis feels more sinister forces are at work. This is her fourth brush with catastrophe in as many days. Her suspicions target Prince Saliano, a mystic medium, who Janis feels has bamboozled her aunt Margo (Alma Kruger), to whom Janis' late father, the famed explorer Elmer Bellacrest, put in charge of the family fortune. The mystic has convinced Margo that he can channel the spirit of her dead brother. Believing Saliano is a fake and leeching money from her family, part of Janis' plan during the big birthday celebration is to expose these shenanigans. She's contacted Dr. Karl Fenninger, the famous debunker, whose agreed to attend. 

Big band swing, séances, and murder; this is shaping up to be one wild birthday party.

* * * *

"STUDENTS!"

Quick: I'll bet you can't name the only movie that stars Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi and Peter Lorre -- a fine triumvirate of the grand masters of horror if I do so declare, and I do, -- all at the same time?

The answer is You'll Find Out.

[You're supposed to say "When?"]

No, it's You'll Find Out.

[Now get a little indignant and say "Fine. Just tell me when."]

Hah. You don't understand. The name of the movie is You'll Find Out.

[Now get more indignant and say "I give up, already. What is it? I don't have all day, Sparky.]

Third base.

Okay, enough of these Abbott and Costello shenanigans, we're talking about You'll Find Out -- the second movie vehicle for bandleader Kay Kyser and his swinging band. Here, the Ol' Professor and The Kollege of Musical Knowledge goes toe to toe with this trio of cool ghouls, tries to survive the night in a secluded haunted mansion that's honeycombed with a myriad of secret passages, and put the kibosh on a nefarious murder plot.

James King Kern Kyser couldn't read music, couldn't sing, and couldn't play an instrument, but had such charisma and popularity at the University of North Carolina that several friends asked him to be the conductor for their fledging band. James accepted, adopted his middle initial and Kay Kyser was born. The band stunk, so they had to overcompensate with the wild antics and stunts from their bandleader. Over time, they got better, adding better musicians, singers and arrangers, but kept the stunts and antics in anyway. It was blessed with some good vocal talent with Simms, Babbit and Mason. And Merwyn, as Ish Kabibble -- which means in Yiddish "What, me worry? --  provided a solid comic foil for Kyser's hyperactivity. (And now that I think about it, there is more than a passing resemblance between Merwyn and Mad Magazine's Alfred E. Neumann.) They started getting steady gigs and became pretty popular regionally in the '30s.

One of those gigs was at the Blackhawk Club in Chicago, and it was here, on amateur night, that Kay's Klass -- where he would good-naturedly rib and quiz the locals -- eventually morphed into the full blown, and out of control chaos of the Kollege of Musical Knowledge; where contestants competed with each other and the audiences for cash prizes. The show was picked up nationally and exploded, resulting in eleven #1 records and 35 more in Billboard's Top Ten.

Naturally, Hollywood came calling. Seven times.

Kyser and his band answered the call first for That's Right -- You're Wrong. It proved to a be a big hit but was more of a traditional Hollywood musical. The second, You'll Find Out, was going to be a little different. Another phenomenon was taking place in the movies: Comedian and former radio personality, Bob Hope had just zinged his way through two very successful murder in the haunted mansion mysteries: The Cat and the Canary and The Ghostbreakers. (Red Skelton would go on to star in similar vehicles as The Fox, starting with the hilarious Whistling in the Dark.) RKO pictures decided it would provide a good framework for Kyser's antics, arranged to throw a trio of boogey men at him, and here's how it turned out.

As the tour bus bounces towards the secluded mansion -- the only way to get to it is by a single road that's bottlenecked by narrow wooden bridge, the prerequisite storm breaks. Lightning flashes and thunder booms (but oddly enough, it never starts raining.) While the rest of the band unloads the equipment and sets up, Kay and Chuck take a tour of the kooky mansion. Bellacrest Manor is basically Robert Ripley's wet dream; teeming with exotic, oddball artifacts that were collected by Elmer during his world travels. Some of the collection proves deadly, as we get some plot specific details about a blow gun and poison darts adorning the wall.

We're then introduced to daffy Aunt Margo, and she immediately latches on to Kay, who has a hard time prying her loose. She, somehow, has got it into her head that Kyser believes in all the supernatural goobledy-gook, too, and wants to "pierce the veil" and talk to the dead with him. Also lurking about is Elmer's old partner, Judge Mainwaring. Mainwaring (Boris Karloff) was present when Elmer was looting -- sorry, collecting artifacts from an African temple when the natives cashed in his chips. Kyser finally detaches Margo from his hip and finds his bedroom. While changing for the show, he's spooked by the reflection of someone standing behind him. It's Saliano (Bela Lugosi), warning him that the house is full of spirits -- and those spirits don't like the skeptical.

Meanwhile, the creepy evening wouldn't be complete without a shadowy, cloaked figure lurking about. Janis and Ginny are dressing for the party, when Janis spots the figure outside her window. She screams, but when Ginny checks outside, there's no one there. On the way back in, Ginny's dress is caught in the door and is torn. It's ruined, so Janis insists she wear one of her dresses. Outside their room, through a secret panel hidden behind a mask on the wall, sinister eyes watch their door. The plot-specific blow gun sticks out of the mask's mouth. The door opens and the killer, mistaking Ginny for Janis, takes deadly aim. Lightning crashes, and the house is plunged into darkness. Janis screams again, this time bringing the whole band running. The lights come on but no one is hurt. During the confusion, Kay notices one of the deadly darts sticking in the wall. He waits for everyone to clear out before corralling Chuck and telling him what he saw.

Chuck doesn't believe it, and when Kay tries to show him, the dart's gone. (The last to leave the scene was Mainwaring.) Convinced that a killer is running loose in this nuthouse, Kay calls the concert off. So Chuck tells him about Janis' dire situation. No problem, they'll take her with them. They start to round everyone up to go, when the house is rocked by an explosion. Mainwaring announces that a lightning strike has detonated the bridge (!), meaning everyone's stuck. Coincidently, the phones have conked out as well. Even though he blames it all on the storm, more suspicion is cast on the Judge, who disappeared after they announced their imminent departure.

Half of the party guests have already arrived; a batch of about a dozen debutants, but their beaus are stuck on the other side of the river. Harry, Sully, and Ish try to substitute themselves to no avail. Since they're stuck, Janis talks Kay into going ahead with the show. Several musical numbers later, the whole company adjourns to another room for cocktails. Here, Janis and Chuck let Kay in on their plan to expose Saliano. The only problem is their ace, Fenninger, is stuck on the other side of the demolished bridge.

Right on cue, Fenninger (Peter Lorre) enters the room and introduces himself. He apologizes to Janis; he was the one outside her window earlier. He arrived early, unannounced, to snoop the place out. Dinner is served. Mainwaring and Fenninger linger behind, and their duplicitous nature is exposed when Fenninger asks why the girl is still alive. Mainwaring says not to worry. He has another plan for an untimely accident for poor Janis. They just need to get Saliano to hold a séance -- and an opportunity presents itself when Kay stumbles in, looking for his cigarette case. Fenninger tricks Kay into challenging Saliano to prove that he isn't a faker. Saliano agrees to the challenge, but warns "those who scoff, the spirits consider no punishment too drastic."

Saliano sets up in the ballroom. His meditation tent is pitched in the center, and by each entrance, he places deadly electronic flytraps borrowed from The Thing from Another World, so anyone trying to enter or leave during the séance will be flash-fried.

The lights go down and the festivities commence. While Fenninger and Mainwaring lurk about, Saliano asks for volunteers to sit in a semi-circle and manages to herd Janis into the chair directly underneath the chandelier (so Saliano must be in on it, too.) Then the Mystic enters his tent so he can go into his trance in private(!). What follows, actually, is a fairly effective and creepy sequence: As the poltergeist activity turns from playful to sinister, a strange voice sounds off, announcing it's ethereal presence. A ghostly dismembered head of some tribesman appears in the darkness, chanting "I killed Bellacrest", over and over, and when this apparition disappears, it's replaced by the glowing head of Bellacrest himself. The spirit implores Janis to believe in Saliano. Entranced, Janis swoons and passes out. Just in time, as she falls off the chair mere moments before the falling chandelier crushes it.

Having had enough excitement for one day, everyone decides to turn in. Chuck and Kay have to bunk together. Being extremely cautious, they seal the room, but when they turn out the lights, a ghostly flame appears. Closer, closer, and closer it comes until it leaps in the bed with them, triggering pure pandemonium. They get the lights on only to discover it's just Ish's dog, Prince, who's tail is covered in phosphorus paint. Discovering the secret passage that the dog used to get in their locked room, they investigate, and manage to get attacked by a stuffed gorilla, stumble into even more secret passages, and get separated. Kay finds a hidden control room, and even without the glowing masks of the native and Bellacrest on a shelf, it doesn't take a rocket-scientist to figure out that this is Saliano's equipment. But you gotta remember who we're dealing with here...

Kyser proves up to the task, though, and tinkers with the controls. Everything they saw earlier is remote controlled. He finds some papers and reads. Hearing someone coming, he stuffs the papers into his pajamas and hides. Saliano enters. His equipment buzzes and he answers the intercom call. Ordered to somebody's room, he leaves. Kyser sneaks out behind him. He's almost solved the mystery; all he has to do is discover who Saliano was talking to.

We already know. The three conspirators meet, and realize their time is running out. Mainwaring has one more idea to bump off Janis and make it look like an accident. But to do this, Saliano will have to hold another séance. Saliano is doubtful that they can do another one and not raise suspicions. Mainwaring says not to worry, Margo will demand it. Saliano knows what to do and leaves. Tired of outwitting morons, Fenninger warns, if this doesn't work, he'll just use his gun and get it over with.

Saliano enters his secret lair, flips a few switches, and sits in front of a microphone. He places two other instruments near his throat that distorts his voice. The ghostly sound is pumped into Margo's bedroom, where he demands -- disguised as Elmer voice, that she must gather everyone together; he has something important to tell everyone. Soon, everyone else is woken up and herded into the ballroom -- except for Janis and Ginny; Chuck and Kay want them safely locked in their room. They're pretty sure it's Saliano and Mainwaring behind the attacks, but Kyser makes the mistake of taking Fenninger into confidence and reveals his plan to take them down.

Using another secret door, Mainwaring attempts to chop Janis' head off while she sleeps with a scimitar. Ish -- who was guarding them, wakes up in time to foil this, but the attack has the desired effect. Janis is out of the bedroom and will be present for the deadly séance. 

Kay kicks up some spooky mood music as Saliano enters his tent. In the dark, he manages to hand off the glowing baton to a decoy and sneaks off to the secret passage he used early to enter Saliano's lair. The séance commences, and while everyone is transfixed on the ghostly head of Elmer Bellacrest, Fenninger quietly positions one of Saliano's deadly electronic devices behind Janis' chair. When he plugs it back in, it will arc across to the one near the tent, frying Janis to a crisp.

Down below, Kyser sneaks in and manages to knock Saliano out and takes over the broadcast. His voice comes over warning everyone to get moving, 'cuz "there's a murderer in our midst." Janis moves before the machines spark off. Chuck hits the lights, revealing that Mainwaring is wearing the glowing mask. The judge pulls a gun and manages to duck away into another secret passage. He enters the control room and starts duking it out with Kyser. While they fight, they trigger the equipment and all hell breaks loose in the ballroom. Kyser manages a lucky punch and escapes, up through the trapdoor, into Saliano's tent. Everyone mistakes the occupant as the killer, and tackle the tent en masse.

Kyser waves his trademark glasses as white flag. They untangle him, and Kay reveals the motive behind it all. He shows Janis the papers he found: it was a codicil to her father's will. When she turns 21, she becomes the executor of her father's fortune. Mainwaring, through Saliano, had been bilking money from Margo for a long time, but knew Janis would put a stop to that. So they had to stop her. Fenninger, whose treachery still hasn't been discovered, offers to go and hold the criminals with his pistol until the authorities arrive. After he's gone, there's a knock on the window. They open it and find a battered and bruised figure outside, who claims to be the real Fenninger. They've been duped. 

The fake Fenninger, Mainwaring and Saliano enter, with pistols drawn. Saliano also holds a bundle of dynamite (a similar batch took out the bridge to be sure). Fenninger announces they have spoiled their plans, but the crooks will have the last laugh and get away by blowing up the house. Once the police get done sifting for bodies, they'll be long gone. The fuse is lit, the dynamite is tossed, and the criminals escape -- locking everyone else in the ballroom. (The windows are barred.) Prince grabs the dynamite, but Kay wrestles it out of his jaws. He tosses it out the window, but the dog bounds after and retrieves it. He starts to bring it back, but spots the fleeing criminals and chases after them. Ish calls for him to drop the dynamite, but Prince disappears into the bushes. After the inevitable explosion, Ish is inconsolable. Kay promises to build a shrine for the dog, when they here Prince barking. They look outside and see he's alive and kicking, chewing on what's left of Saliano's turban.

And that about wraps up the movie, except for one final closing number where Kay incorporates Saliano's equipment to "Give voice to the instruments." And then one more curtain call by Kay, but he's quickly disintegrated by Saliano's death-spheres before he can finish.

The End

I clearly remember tuning in to Conan O'Brien's debut on Late Night, but by the time it went to the first commercial break, right after he kissed his microphone for the fifth or sixth time, I switched away -- already having my fill of this mugging and mincing moron. It was, in my estimation, a fairly embarrassing performance and it soured me on him and the show for a real long time. Several years removed, I can honestly say, that now, I find Mr. O'Brien to be a pretty funny guy. I bring up this personal anecdote because during the opening number of You'll Find Out, Kyser and the collective heads of knuckle in the bandstand is an overtly-spastic assault on your senses. The music is honestly pretty good -- unless you loathe swing music, and if so, why are you watching this to begin with? -- but the out of control antics of the mincing and prancing Kyser may send some of you scrambling for your remote control. If you can resist that urge, the rest of the film plays out just fine (you've already survived the worst of it. C'mon, you sissies.) 

This movie takes a lot of heat, mostly from vintage horror movie fans, over the inclusion of these horror icons in all that corniness. And it is one big can of corn -- straight of the cob. But as Kyser would say, "Pop that corn, baby!" And if you give the film half a chance, Kyser and the gang visibly improve as the film progresses, and by the start of the third act, he had successfully ingratiated himself to me, which is a nice reward for sticking through that opening act. Of course, I'm a sucker for any kind of big old haunted house movies -- and the more secret passages the better -- no matter whose involved.

RKO Pictures scored a real coup landing Karloff, Lugosi and Lorre. Karloff was pretty much done with Frankenstein at this point. Lugosi had a few more supporting bits for the majors, but was already a veteran of "Poverty Row". In fact, Saliano was very similar to the mystic Chandu that he twice played earlier for Monogram. At the time, Lorre's stock was on the rise. Mr. Moto was behind him, and a career of getting pushed around by Humphrey Bogart was right around the corner. Karloff is solid, as always, if not underused. And it does the heart good to see Lugosi at least a little healthier and not embarrass himself. And Lorre steals the show as he constantly gets the upper hand and the last word in with our bumbling hero. 

And would you believe -- according to a growing legend, these three were supposed to have a musical number together. It was supposed to be a derivative of Ish's "The Bad Humor Man" called something along the lines of "We're the Three Bad Humored Men." Truth or bull-twaddle? Who knows, but when the legend is more entertaining than the truth, print the legend.

The film's director, David Butler, helmed one other Kyser picture, but then latched on to Bob Hope for several of his spy comedies in the '40s, and also directed Bob and Bing Crosby and Dorothy Lamour's third "Road" picture: The Road to Morocco. Contributing writer James Kern would go on to work for Jack Benny, and wrote the oddity to end all oddities for his new boss, The Horn Blows at Midnight, where Benny was an Archangel sent down from heaven to blow his horn -- sounding the beginning of armageddon! (Jack, of course, loses the trumpet.)

It's amazing that -- for as popular as he was, Kyser and his band is all but forgotten today. When World War II broke out, Kyser lost several band members to the draft. But Kyser was one of the first entertainers to perform for the troops, and was instrumental in setting up the Hollywood Canteen. It was during a performing tour in the Pacific Theater that Kyser made the conscious decision that he wouldn't play for money anymore. He was financially set anyway, but seeing the sacrifice the soldiers were making tempered Kyser, and his patented style changed drastically, almost overnight. Personnel changes, and a tragic bus fire that consumed most of their arrangements, all contributed to Kyser's abrupt retirement from the public eye. He married one of his singers and retired back to North Carolina, and devoted all his energies toward his faith as a Christian Scientist. Kyser passed away in 1985.

You'll Find Out is a nice time capsule of Kyser, his band, and his style of music. It was a different era and a different kind of music. I think a good modern equivalent of this would be to look back at Burton's Batman, and try not to wince during the Joker's Bat-Dance parade. Some people just can't get past that. Whatever. I just don't think the movie is all that bad. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I like it even more.

Posted: 11/07/04. Copy and paste at your own legal risk.

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