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2004
was
a very good year for the living dead -- as
opposed to 2003, which saw Uwe Boll's
gawd-awful but hilariously inept House
of the Dead.
A genre that had been relegated to
low-budget, direct to video fiascos like Children
of the Living Dead
and Zombie
'90
has gone through a renaissance in quality,
quantity, and even returned to the big
screen.
The
questionable remake of George Romero's Dawn
of the Dead
proved to be not as bad as the original
film's fans and zombie purists had feared.
In fact, I think it was pretty darn good,
and go ahead and call me blasphemous, I
think it was more enjoyable than Romero's
original version. Well, at
least it was until it turned into a bad
episode of the A-Team,
and what the holy-heck was that ending
credit sequence all about when it switched
from Romero to Italian zombie master Lucio
Fulci? But at least there wasn't a
pie-fight.
Then
from our friends in Great Britain came Shaun
of the Dead.
A brilliant film that worked on so many
levels; it sacred you, and made you cry
and laugh uncontrollably usually at the
same time. (I
believe this will be released on DVD in
December and I implore you to check it
out. I still laugh when I think about the
ending.) Heck, its been so good for
zombies that Romero himself is finally
getting the long promised fourth entry of
his own franchise into production.
2004
also saw the domestic release of Japan's
own demented entry into the zombie oeuvre,
Wild
Zero.
(Which
means I can finally throw away my
bootleg.) This movie -- well, this
movie defies all rational explanations. A
volatile brew, it's kind of like Dawn
of the Dead
mixed with Ed Wood's Plan
9 from Outer Space
with a Kiss
Meets the Phantom of the Fun Park
chaser. Its got an Evil
Dead 2
mentality with a soundtrack inspired by The
Ramones, Gene Vincent and Link
Wray.
Wow.
That's some concoction.
OK.
Try to get your head around this: Our
hero, Ace, a pompadour sporting,
moped-riding, rock-n-roll groupie is on
his way to see a concert. This venture is
rudely interrupted when aliens decide to
invade the Earth. The sky is full of
saucers, the dead start rising and begin
their usual feast on human flesh, and
humanity's only hope for survival is Ace's
favorite band Guitar Wolf: Guitar Wolf,
Bass Wolf and Drum Wolf.
A
real life Japanese punk/thrash-a-billy
band whose music is so over-modulated
and distorted that you honestly fear for
your stereo speaker's life. Seriously.
Double check your warranties before
viewing.
Armed
with a lot of self-confidence, anti-matter
guitar picks, and guns loaded with skull
detonating bullets, our merry band must
survive the UFO invaders, the munching
zombie hordes (they're not sure how
because none of them have actually seen Night
of the Living Dead),
a cat-suit-cladded gun-running mercenary,
and a psychotic promoter in terminally
short pants -- who can shot lasers out of
his eyes! But in the end, evil is thwarted
and Ace saves his girl. (Well, he
sort of saves the girl. Watch the movie
and you'll see what I mean.)
You
just can't make this stuff up.
Anyways,
any movie that has its own built in
drinking game gets bonus points from me (and
they even provide a pop-up beer mug to
help you along.) All you have to do
is drink whenever --
- Someone
drinks.
- Someone
combs their hair.
- Anytime
fire shoots out of anything.
- Anyone
says "rock-n-roll!"
- Something
explodes.
- A
zombie's head "pops."
You'll
be snockered by the end of the first reel.
Trust me.
It
is as insane as it sounds, but I'll curb
my enthusiasm a little by warning you it
is all completely, wonderfully and
unapologetically stupid. (Even the
film's director says it's unapologetically
stupid.) Some things are lost in
translation. They have to be. There's no
other possible explanation. The sheer
rawness of it works to the film's benefit
but the pacing is maddeningly bi-polar,
with spurts of action that screech to a
halt, and honestly, when the film is in
high gear, the dialogue is moving so fast
it's impossible to keep up with the
subtitles. Meaning the majority of the
time you won't know what the heck is going
on. And unfortunately, some of you might
not like one of the film's plot twists.
If
you'll take my advice, though, don't even
try to keep up. This movie is not meant to
be seen, but endured. It's an assault on
the senses, twisted and distorted, and
wops you upside the head. When it's over,
after the dust settles and your ears stop
ringing, you may not have a clue as to
what you just encountered -- hell,
you may not even like it -- but there's an
uncontrollable urge to cue it up and watch
it again.
Rock
and roll!
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