Our destination? We're going to take a look at a genre that was spawned - and quickly spurted out - about this time. What is this fabled genre in question? The scavenger hunt movie. In particular? Midnight Madness - Walt Disney Studio's first foray into virgin territory; their first PG rated film to deal with real PG rated themes. (Sure, The Black Hole was first but did VINCENT and BOB talk about losing their virginity? Or did Charlie peep and gawk at Kate while she's changing her clothes?)

- - - -

Oh, no. The theme music's got a disco beat. (Courage, faithful readers, courage.)

So where are we? 

We're at a college campus somewhere in Los Angeles. We come up to speed as the camera follows two chicks, each sporting a tight pair of "Daisy Dukes" (one of 'ems even wearing a tube top) and Farrah Fawcett hairdos, rolling around on roller skates while a diva belts out a inane chorus to that funky "boo-do-boo-do-boo" beat (and I suddenly worry that I've accidentally stumbled upon an old episode of CHiPs.)

These two saucy vixens, named Candy and Sunshine (courage faithful readers, courage) (Debi Richter & Kirsten Baker), are on a mission to deliver invitations to five people on campus. The first goes to Lavitus (Brad Wilkin), the captain of the football team. The second goes to Wesley (Eddie Deezen), the head of the debate club. Third goes to Donna (Maggie Roswell), the head of less popular sorority. Fourth goes to Harold (Stephen Furst), a slob of the highest order, who's busy gorging himself on food.

Intrigued, Adam accepts the invitation to an apartment and finds the other four waiting inside. They're treated to a quick slideshow on the history of games and then their host finally reveals himself. It's just Leon (Alan Solomon). The audience meets this revelation with disgust. (Not me, at least not yet, but the invitees.) 

At first they all laugh at Leon, refuse to participate, and quickly leave. Candy and Sunshine console him (and considering his questionable hygiene, this redlines are suspension of disbelief already) but Leon chose his players carefully, he's convinced they'll all be on board by the weekend. 

Harold's dad pulls out all the stops and equips Harold with a boss van to win the race. It's got a super-charged engine, an observation bubble, telephone, and an onboard computer to help them solve the clues. But coolest of all, it sports a bitching flaming decal. The night before the big race, Melio, Harold's personal tormentor thru the film, catches Harold trying to hide a bag of Marshmallows and Oreos in the van, so Lucille doesn't see them. Harold's supposed to be on a diet. Melio promises not to tell. (No, I don't trust him either.)

So it all boils down to basically the Jocks vs. the Chicks vs. the Slobs vs. the Dorks vs. the Squares. (I point out that there is no Cool team to root for, although I think Adam's team is supposed to be who we identify with as the heroes of our piece -- but cool they are definitely not. Me? Personally I'm rooting for the dorks on the mopeds.)

Adam takes a quick peak at what he was looking at, then tells Flinch that they need to check this out again, later. They set the coordinates and the telescope brings an outdoor bank sign into focus. It flashes the time, temperature, and the next clue: To Unlock the Next Clue You Must Find the 8800 Keys. The Green Team busts in. Adam nonchalantly puts the telescope back to the naked lady, knowing that'll keep the jocks occupied for a while. The Yellow Team leaves while Lavitus gets an eyeful.

Back at Game Control, several of Leon's neighbors have dropped by to complain about the noise but are soon enchanted by his colossal set-up. They all pull up a chair to watch while Leon explains the board and the race.

The second clue wasn't that hard to decipher but finding the next one inside the Piano Museum is another pig and a poke in the eye. The Blue Team wastes valuable time trying to find it while the others catch up. Barf and Melio start banging out a hearty rendition of "Heart and Soul" to torment Harold. They almost come to blows when Lucille squeals that she finally found the clue. 

Sitting above a small keyboard is Leon's Theme. Lucille translates the notes to paper and asks what does it mean? Harold doesn't have a clue but the computer will. They return to the van and enter the clue but the computer doesn't respond. Harold realizes, to his horror, that he broke the computer. When they arrived at the museum, Lucille caught him trying to sneak a snack and he hid the bag of marshmallows under the computer console. He looks under it, again, and it's a smoking, gooey mess. To make matters worse for Harold, Melio also stole his stash of Oreos that brings more rage from Lucille for sneaking food. Melio only encourages her.

On the way to the Museum, Adam spots his younger brother, Scott (Michael before the J. Fox), sitting at a bus stop. It seems Scott is a troubled youth, a constant pain in Adam's butt, and was trying to run away. Adam is responsible for him while their parents are away, so Scott will have to accompany them for the rest of the race.

The rest of the teams converge on the museum. The Green Team finds the clue first. Lavitus proves to have some culture and bangs out Leon's theme on the keyboard. Blaylock recognizes it as the Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer jingle and shouts out the next clue must be at the Pabst Blue Ribbon Brewery. Everyone hears that, and thanks him, then thunders out of the museum.

The Green Team makes it first and the jocks have a quick religious epiphany before entering the holy shrine brewery and the birthplace of beer (even though it's Pabst. PBR me ASAP, baby!) They take the tour and Blaylock is so overcome with joy that he does a cannonball into a vat of beer and slowly sinks below the surface. 

The Yellow Team arrives but Scott causes trouble, getting them all kicked out. While Adam and Scott argue, Marvin spots the next clue on the loading dock, pasted on the side of several crates of beer: Mr. Carson's Obese Male Child. They quickly decipher it to mean Johnny's Fat Boy Burgers. 

The Red Team runs into trouble when they pass a carnival because Peggy and Lulu decide to raid it, looking for sweets. Donna and Berle track them easily, following a trail of emptied concession stands. They eventually round the twins up. They parked in a tow zone but manage to steal the wrecker away from the driver and escape.

Meanwhile, Harold's team has been driving around, aimlessly, until they spot Adam's team and follow them to the restaurant. Once they go inside, Harold and the others sabotage Marvin's jeep siphoning off most of the gas and deflating all the tires. (They don't slash them, just deflate them, this is a Disney movie after all.) Harold keeps one of the hubcaps as a souvenir until the others start giggling at him because while holding it, he bares an uncanny resemblance to the Johnny's Fat Boy Burger's mascot.

The White Team joins them in the restaurant and they find the next clue on the menu: Look Between the Two Giant Melons. The teams are seated and start ordering melons. They are stumped but the cameraman clues us in by ogling the huge breasts of the waitress and the necklace that dangles in her cleavage.

Back at the brewery, the rest of the Green Team manages to round up Blaylock who's as drunk as a skunk. He proclaims this to be the best day of his life then promptly passes out while the PBR jingle keeps right on playing.

At the restaurant, the waitress drops a dish and it breaks, drawing everyone's attention to her while she bends over. The teams quickly figure it out and demand service but she moves too fast and they can't read the necklace. A melee ensues and the necklace flies off into a bowl of soup. Wesley digs it out and it says - Hug Me.

The teams break for the door but Lucille stops Harold. She wants him to buy her a Johnny's Fat Boy doll because it reminds her of him. She calls it her "Little Harold" much to Melio's delight.

The Yellow Team tries to decipher the clue. Flinch blurts out every combination of the letters. Adam tells him to stop after Hug Em - Huge M. It's got to be the giant M at the Miniature Golf World (or the MacDonald's across the street?) They race to the jeep but find it vandalized. Harold's van roars by and they can hear them laughing. Adam tells Marvin to get it fixed while he and Flinch hitch a ride to the golf course. Before they leave, he asks Laura to watch out for Scott. 

Laura talks to Scott to find out what's wrong because Adam is worried about him. Scott doesn't believe that. Adam doesn't even know he exists. He even forgot today was his birthday. (So did Mom and Dad.)

Back at Game Control, all of Leon's neighbors have joined the party. Wagers are being made and pizza is on the way. Mrs. Grimhaus breaks in and tries to serve his eviction notice. She warned him, just one more noise complaint, and that was it. Leon turns to his audience and asks if anyone is complaining? They all answer no. The old battleaxe leaves but swears this isn't the end of it.

Adam and Flinch only managed to hitch a ride with an elderly couple who drive at a snail's pace. Adam loses his "gusto" for the game and wants to concede. Flinch can't believe that his hero would give up, so it's time for action. He tosses away his asthma inhaler, shoves Adam out of the car then forces two girls in a convertible to stop. He then commandeers the car and tells them they're going to Miniature Golf World. They giggle and agree. (I think that's how serial killers do it. Am I right?) Adam is amazed and hops in the back seat.

Harold's Team hits the golf course first and finds a blue envelope by the ticket office that reads: To Find the Next Clue You Must Play an Entire 18 Holes of Golf. P.S. No Cheating. Do not go directly to the 18th Hole.

Harold ignores the warning and heads to the last hole. He makes his put and the ball disappears, down the chute, and another envelope pops up. He smirks and tells Barf to read it allowed. It says: I Told You No Cheating. Now You Have to Start Over. P.S. You'll Have to Buy Another Ball. Harold rages while the others laugh.

The Green Team are jammed back in the Volkswagen Bug. They never found the clue at the brewery and fear their out of the race. All the beer catches up with Blaylock and he has to puke -- right now. Lavitus swerves into the nearest parking lot and they all bail out. Armpit runs the farthest away and leans against a van. Harold's van. They lucked out and wound up at the golf course. They're back in the game.

The White Team is soon overrun as the Green Team forcefully plays through and tosses their ball into a water trap. The rest of the Yellow Team catches up with Adam and Flinch - just as they tee off - on the first hole. Scott, on Laura's advice, tries to help out but only makes things worse bringing more anger from Adam. Harold's team gets another ball but gets stuck behind a family of raging brats and have to sit and wait.

Once again, the Green Team finds the clue first when a shot opens a castle's drawbridge. Written on the bottom of it reads: Look At Xylophones Initially (5:30 AM).

The rest find the clue and they all decipher it to mean the initials L.A.X.  Leon must mean the Los Angeles Airport and assume 5:30 AM must be an arrival time. The Red Team, who we haven't heard from in awhile, spies The Green Team's VW and tails them getting back in the game, too.

Everyone except the White Team misses the sign saying to tune into 530 AM for Airport Information. They tune in and Leon breaks into the broadcast telling the players to look in Terminal Three. 

Wesley leads the White Team into the Terminal where they are assaulted by a band of Hari Krishnas, who demand that they take some of their literature. Wesley takes it, so they'll leave them alone, but quickly discards it. We spy the papers in the trashcan and spot a picture of Leon dressed up like a guru. The Krishnas are on Leon's payroll. When the others arrive they, too, refuse the literature despite their best efforts.

Scott causes Adam more trouble while Laura diagnoses their problems but neither of them are listening. Harold takes the stack of papers away from one of the pushy zealots and tosses them into the air. Barf grabs one of them and yells out there's a picture of Leon on it. Everyone scrambles for one and the clue leads them to the lockers. They find a row painted in each team's color with a present waiting for them inside.

They all return to their vehicles and open them up. Inside they find a picture of someone sitting on chair, a picture of a safety pin, a ball and the letter "E." Harold's team can't decipher it but others realize it means pin-ball-sit-"E." Pinball City.

The Great All Nighter comes down the back stretch. The Yellow Team makes it to the arcade first and the impish owner is looking awfully familiar. (Yep, it's Paul Reubens, still a few years away from Pee-Wee Herman.) They find the next clue from the animatronic fortune teller, Madame Leona. Their fortune reads that they must beat the Star Fire video game to see the next clue.

They start feeding it quarters (and I recognize the Star Wars rip-off game. I was damn good at it back in the day. I seem to recall Lucas brought suit against the game makers and it quietly disappeared.) Scott watches them and laughs as they futilely lose, again and again. Laura notices and asks what's up? Scott says he mastered that game years ago.

Flinch washes out and they're down to three quarters. Adam is about to try again but Laura stops him and turns it over to Scott. Adam protests but Laura says to watch and learn. Scott easily beats the game and Leon appears on screen, dressed like an alien. He reveals that the finish line is somewhere in the Bonaventure Hotel. They all cheer Scott, except for Adam who's already halfway out the door. Laura see that this crushes Scott.

The Red Team makes it to the Arcade next and manage to find the clue and beat the game. The Green Team arrives and overhears Leon's last clue without beating the game. This ignites a war between the teams as they turn the Arcade's Nerf guns against each other. The White Team arrives and tries to play the game but it's broken during the fight before they can get the clue.

Things finally boil over between Adam and Scott, so Scott runs off again. Adam says to let the moody little snot go, they've got a game to win. Laura yells at him, saying Scott only acts that way because that's the only way Adam will pay any attention to him. (I smell a moral.) The other three refuse to press on and want to go and find Scott. Adam can't believe they'd throw in the towel, after all they've been through, and drives off in the jeep, alone, but he hears Laura yell at him that he forgot Scott's birthday.

Back at Game Central, Mrs. Grimhaus has called in the cops. She wants them to forcibly evict Leon. The Police Sergeant is soon brought under Leon's spell and is excited with all the antiquated equipment he's using. Grimhaus smashes the radio they're looking at and tells the officer to do his job. The officer complies and tells his men to arrest Mrs. Grimhaus for destruction of private property. His players are on the last leg of the race, so it's time to move Game Central to the Bonaventure Hotel for the big finish. Everyone decides to go along, about fifty people in all, including Mrs. Grimhaus who is hauled along against her will.

Adam has a fast change of heart and quickly returns to the others. Who cares about the race, we've got find Scott.

Scott spies Harold's van. He runs up to it and offers to tell Harold where the finish line is to spite his older brother. Harold tells him to get in. Once inside, Scott has second thoughts but Harold bullies him and threatens bodily violence if he doesn't say where the finish line is. Scott tells him it's the Bonaventure. Harold gets behind the wheel and tells Barf and Melio to get rid of him. 

They toss Scott out of the back of the van. Adam and his team arrive just in time to see this. The two brothers embrace. Scott confesses that he told Harold where the finish line is. Adam says don't worry about it. (Jeez, if I saw somebody throw my little brother out of a van I would think a little ass-whooping was in order.)

Harold gloats because he's back in the lead until Lucille starts screaming. She's lost "Little Harold" and demands that they go back and look for him. He must have fallen out when they dumped the kid. Harold refuses until Melio and Lucille take the wheel and execute a U-turn. 

The Yellow Team decide to call it a night. Their only regret is that Harold will probably win the race. Suddenly, they spy the van coming towards them. It stops, Harold gets out and retrieves the doll. The playing field evened out again, the Yellow Team decides to get back in the race and roar past Harold towards the Hotel. Harold destroys "Little Harold" and gets back in the van.

Back at the arcade, the Green Team makes their escape but accidentally destroy the Red Team's truck. The Red Team knows where the finish line is. The White Team doesn't but they have transportation. A deal is struck and a temporary truce is called. 

Soon all the teams are at the Bonaventure running amok, ducking security, and each other, all the while looking for the next clue. Leon, whose checked into a room with his large entourage, pages Mr. Game Players and tells them "to look at the pool and I mean that expressly." While he points out where the pool is on his map, Mrs. Grimhaus manages to call the security chief and reveals that the hooligans are holed up in room 2704.

Everyone heads to the pool but can't see anything. Adam figures they have to look at the pool from the express elevators to "look at it expressly." Harold's team follows them back into the hotel, while the other team dominoes each other into the pool. Blaylock pushes Donna in. Berle pushes him in. Lavitus pushes her in. The twins push him in. The rest of the Green Team push the twins in who are then in turn swarmed over by the White Team.

So it boils down to a two team race. Adam's team gets to the elevators first while Harold's gets the next one. They shoot skyward and the high angle shows that the tables by the pool are arranged to say Room 2704. Harold tells Barf to hit the 27th floor button, but this is the express elevator and there aren't any buttons. They have to go all the way to the top then all the way back down, to the lobby, and switch to the normal elevators -- and Adam's team has a head start.

Adam's team reaches the lobby just as a security contingent load up one of the elevators heading for the hooligans in 2704. They wait for the next one and barely get the doors closed before Harold's team hits the lobby. Melio laughs at Harold but he's not done yet. His team hid earlier from security in the main power room and he's got another idea.

The security guards reach the 27th floor but the power cuts out, trapping them inside, before the doors could fully open. 

The Yellow Team are stuck between floors. Marvin seems to think by sticking Scott's retainer into a keyhole that he can trigger some kind of "manual override" and get the elevator moving again. (Okay, MacGuyver he ain't.)

Harold managed to stop Adam but the elevators have been knocked out. Meaning to win, Harold must drag his sorry ass up 27 flights of stairs. Harold's dying before he even gets to the fifth floor. The rest of his team patiently wait for him while he drags himself up from floor to floor.

Marvin magically gets the elevator going again and they reach the 27th Floor just as the exhausted Harold stumbles through the stairwell door. Harold quickly arms himself with the firehouse off the wall. He warns Adam to stay back and tells Melio to turn the water on. The hose quickly charges up.

Harold's sweaty hand twists on the nozzle when Adam spots the security guards, trying to get out of the elevator. He grabs Scott's magic retainer and jams it into the elevator controls and the guards spill out, into Harold's line of fire, and get soaked. Harold panics and drops the hose. The guards rush his team while Adam's team sneaks by and enters room 2704.

Adam's team wins! Yeah, didn't see that one coming. 

At the post game party, all the opposing team members bury the hatchet over a continental breakfast buffet. There's even a birthday cake for Scott. The Security Guards try to escort Harold and his crew out but he spies the food, breaks away and gorges himself. The disco music kicks up again and the freeze-frame credits roll on, rehashing the films highlights until --

The Ever Loving End

The writing and directing tandem of Michael Nankin and David Wechter (Wechter went on to write The Faculty) based this movie on an actual underground all night scavenger hunt that takes place in Los Angeles.

We've got a similar competition here in Nebraska that we affectionately call the Road Rally. Small local towns run these as fundraisers and all proceeds usually go to help fund and equip the volunteer fire departments and paramedics. 

It's the same basic concept as The Great All Nighter -- with a rural twist. The entire route was timed out and the team with the closest time, not the fastest, was declared the winner meaning you had to follow the rules. To keep things relatively safe, you could only drive 45-miles an hour on the pavement and 25 on the mostly gravel roads. You also had to turn right whenever you came to stop sign. I say relatively safe because a Road Rally was basically an excuse for a massive amount of drunk people let loose on county roads. You followed the clues that determined the route, got lost, a lot, stopping for more beer and the occasionally bathroom break (that became more and more frequent as the day went on.) The evening was usually capped off by more beer, a street dance and barbecue.

I participated in about six of these things. They hardly hold them anymore because local law enforcement finally stopped looking the other way on Road Rally days and cracked down. All in all it was probably a wise thing because no one had gotten killed yet, and I honestly don't remember there ever being an accident. I really miss it, though. God, they were a blast. I actually road with a winner one year and the trophy still circulates between all who were on the team. Every other year we got hopelessly lost and just gave up.

Somehow Nankin and Wechter got Walt Disney to the foot the bill for this film, though Disney's name is mysteriously no where to be found in the credits but there are plenty of clues. The White Team find Mickey Mouse's star on the Walk of Fame. Lavitus wears one of the Atom's football jersey's from GUS, the field goal kicking mule movie, and there are several more mouse-eared product placements to be spotted with minimal effort.

The movie awkwardly attempts to approach some teenage themes like beer and the opposite sex, but you can almost sense a forced restraint that wouldn't allow them to go too far with it.  We're still in the alternate Disney Universe after all, where people like Leon can attract women like Candy and Sunshine, and the teams can inflict that much property damage with a shrug and an "oh, well" kids just being kids. There's also no profanity, sex or nudity (and the thought of lesbians dare not enter our minds when discussing Donna's sorority.) I'm shocked that they allowed them to drink beer. The subplot between Adam and Scott appears to be tacked on, so the story could have a moral, and it's stretched pretty danged thin.

The film is Michael J. Fox's screen debut (and somewhere between the opening and closing credits he added the J.) He was hired because he was 18 and looked like he was thirteen, so they could shoot after ten o'clock to comply with child safety laws.

This is his first job but he still acts circles around most of his co-stars. Naughton had just gained notoriety in a Dr. Pepper ad (and watch for an embarrassing piece of product placement as he sets his soda down, just so, so we can clearly read the label) and had a hit disco single "Makin' It." He would go on the next year to wolf out in An American Werewolf in London. Furst had gotten his slob routine down cold by now. I don't think Deezen has ever "acted" a day in his life if you know what I mean.

Clinger defected over from the wacky world of Sid and Marty Kroft. She played "Super-Chick" on the Kroft Super Show. Who besides me remembers that one? The Wonder Bug? The Amazing Mongo? Bigfoot and Wildboy? C'mon you remember those don't you? She's got an Erin Gray's little sister thing going for her, but her acting skills are closer to Twiki the Robot. The only other standout is Tennant's wiseass, Melio. Tennant has gone on to directing and helmed Anna and the King.

The movie bombed out at the box office but found new life on HBO in the early '80s, where it aired constantly, between showings of H.O.T.S. and Beastmaster, and developed quite a cult following over the years. People started holding there own All-Nighters and one of them even inspired the movie The Game.

I am at a complete loss as to why I belong to this cult. The characters are all obnoxious and paper thin, while the plot can be best summed up as silly -- and bordering on insipid. By all rights I should hate this movie, with every fiber of my being, but I love every stupid minute of it -- and it is stupid. Stupid and crap-load of fun in all it's moronic glory. Barf and Melio's piano duet brings me to tears every time I see it - and I usually have to rewind it to watch it again. When Blaylock gets lost in the brewery absolutely kills me, and I fall on the floor when Harold stands beside the Johnny's Fat Boy Burgers mascot. Then there's Peggy and Lulu tearing it up on the disco floor. Wow.

Somehow this movie got it's hooks into me and I have to pop it in, every once and awhile, to laugh at it again. I don't know, maybe I have a defective gene or chromosomal disorder. If I say, "Fagabeefe," and you laugh, you suffer from the same affliction. Ah, who cares, there's a lot of fun to be had here if you're in the right frame of mind. Here's hoping you find it as much fun as I do but odds are you're going to hate it before you yourself cross the finish line of The Great All-Nighter.