It's amazing what you find when you least expect it. I'm always talking about the huge pile of blank tapes that lie, unlabeled, on the bottom shelf over by the TV. There's probably about 30 of 'em -- and I honestly don't have a clue what's on any of them.

I desperately wanted to tape Hell Up In Hollywood, AMC's documentary on blaxploitation movies, earlier this week, but I had no blank tape. So I pulled one off the pile, at random, and popped it in. I decided to do a little swing search first to see if it was anything I wanted to save. 

First up was an old Monstervision episode, 2020 Texas Gladiators. I'd never tape over good old Joe Bob Briggs, so I fast forwarded for a while then pressed play, again, and got a big surprise. 

No way! I thought I taped over this! 

I rewound it back and was disappointed to find out that I did, indeed, tape over part of it; but I still had the vast majority of the almost impossible to find Massacre at Central High that was just screaming to be reviewed.

I taped this years ago off of TBS when they used to show movies during the overnight. Any one else remember those good old days when the superstations showed movies?

Like I said, the first half-hour is long gone but I've been able to cobble together the beginning of the film from memory and other sources. So let's see if this film deserves it's cult classic status.

- - - -

At the unnamed high school, a new student, David (Derrel Maury), quickly learns the ropes from his old friend, Mark (Andrew Stevens). The two used to go to a different school together.

Mark belongs to the Junior Gestapo, who rule the school through bullying tactics and intimidation. Bruce (Ray Underwood) is their leader and the group is rounded out with his cronies, Paul (Damon Douglas) and Craig (Steve Bond). Amazingly the school puts up with these clowns because A.) there is an extremely forced peer-pressured peace in the halls and B.) there doesn't appear to be in any teachers at the school making the point moot.

The main targets for these nazi-wannabes include Spoony (Robert Carradine), a burnt out peace-nik, who they catch and punish when he tried to draw a swastika on Bruce's locker. They also pick on Oscar (Jeffrey Winner) because he's fat; Arthur (Dennis Kort) because he's a nerd and a cripple (he wears a hearing aid); Harvey (Thomas Logan) is a dork, Rodney (Steve Sikes) is a motor-head from the poor side of the tracks; while Mary and Jane (Rainbeaux Smith & Lani O'Grady) are deemed a couple of skanky tramps.

At their old school David helped Mark out of some serious trouble, so he convinces the others to leave him alone and - in fact - encourages Bruce to let him join their elitist group. They decide to give David a try but he doesn't seem that impressed with them, or their tactics, but he doesn't cause trouble for Mark's sake.

My tape picks it up with the Junior Gestapo (that I will be referring to as the J.G. from now on) hijacking Rodney and his old jalopy. Bruce rods the heck out of the poor old car, eventually shelling the motor, rendering it useless. They laugh, leaving Rodney behind to stew on his misfortunes. David quietly peels off, away from the group. He is an intense and angry young man who vents his anger by running (and blowing things up -- but we're getting ahead of ourselves here.) 

Mark meets up with his girlfriend, Teresa (Kimberly Beck), but she refuses to go parking with him, claiming it's too cold. She's worried about David but Mark guarantees her that he can take care of himself. 

The next day, Teresa talks to Mary and Jane (and yes I giggle every time I type their names.) They spot David, walking into gym class, and Mary comments on his good looks. Jane says she'd better try something fast before Bruce and his goons gets their hooks in him.

Inside the gym, David easily shimmies up the dreaded rope of doom while the J.G. encourages fat Oscar to climb higher -- by employing a switch-blade to his butt as incentive. David doesn't join in on the hazing and hits the showers. Mark follows him, claiming Oscar got two-foot higher than he ever had before. 

David accuses Mark of changing for the worse. Mark calms him down saying "we don't have to fight here" and begs him not to "push it - or make waves" with Bruce. After school they round up Teresa, to go and do something, but Bruce intercepts them saying Mark's needed for a meeting in the J.G.'s Black Van of Death. 

After they're out of earshot, David rips into "the little league Gestapo" and complains why doesn't anybody do anything to stop them. In the Black Van of Death, Bruce voices his concerns over David, who seems to be spoiling for a fight. Mark promises to take care of it, assuring them David will come around.

The J.G. even controls the school's swimming pool. When they get in, everyone else must get out. David follows Spoony, who was rousted out, and asks why he doesn't fight back? Spoony tried to protest once, with disastrous results, and is content to find inner peace (if you know what I mean and I think you do.)

The next day, David spots Rodney trying to hitch a ride to school. At first he won't accept a ride with David, thinking he's one of Bruce's goons. David assures him he's not and offers to help Rodney fix up his old car. They can even use David's garage, since Rodney's dad doesn't like strangers because they upset the chickens. (And my brain just went "TWANG!")

They pull into the parking lot, past the J.G. - who lurk around the Black Van of Death (that I've affectionately dubbed the B-VOD.) Bruce doesn't like David hanging around with losers but his attention is quickly drawn to Mary and Jane, who mouth off to them.

Bruce has plans for the girls but they'll have to wait because it's time to hit the library and pick on Arthur. Bruce and Craig watch as Paul returns an overdue book but refuses to pay the fine. Arthur's pleas for a logical resolution are ignored as he's thrown to the floor and buried under a pile of books.

The J.G. leaves, just as Mark and David walk in. David moves to help Arthur. Mark tries to stop him but David shrugs him off. Mark chastises him for ruining a good thing. He's got it made - but he's blowing it - and warns him not to play with fire. David says to tell Bruce and the others to heed the same warning. David also rips into Mark, saying he's changed into everything they used to hate the minute he started thinking he was better then guys like Arthur.

Mark leaves and David starts to dig Arthur out. Arthur comes up for air and tells David he's breaking a long school tradition. David answers, he sure hopes so. Again David asks why doesn't he fight back? Arthur, ever the logical one, claims that's an ill-conceived notion considering his physical prowess. David suggests he doesn't have to fight alone to which Arthur dejectedly replies "it's best if we each lose our own battles."

- - - -

And I have to take this opportunity to chime in and say, at an almost an hour into the film, there has been little hint or sign of any kind of massacre. Hello? Movie? *tap*tap*tap* Is this thing on? Hello?!?

- - - -

While Arthur explains the Dewey Decimal system to David, things turn a little more sinister when the J.G. decide to take Mary and Jane down a few pegs (if you know what I mean and, unfortunately, you probably do.) Mark bows out while the others haze him. It's not a question of scoring, Bruce lecherously intones, it's about teaching them a lesson.

Bruce and the boys drag Mary and Jane into a class room and commence to raping and pillaging but the girls put up a wail of a fight. All I got to say is, where the hell are all the teachers in this friggin' school?!?

Mark runs into Teresa, who is looking for the other girls. Mark tells her to forget it, Bruce is "meeting" with them. Teresa knows what Bruce's idea of a "good time" is, so she busts into the class room just as Mary's clothes are about to be ripped off. (Maybe they were, this is basic cable.)

Bruce orders her to get out but she refuses. Luckily for her, she's Mark's girlfriend so Bruce just forcefully throws her out of the room -- where she plows right into David. 

Inside, the other two worry that Teresa will go and get some help, so maybe they should just call the gang rape off. There's a knock on the door. A voice, claiming to be Mark, kicks the door open sending Paul sprawling. David storms in and proceeds to beat the hell out of all of them with Mary and Jane happily joining in on the butt-whupping. (Kick them once for me!)

After scraping what's left of Bruce off the bottom of his shoe, David chases Teresa down. I think he's falling for her. But she's not really happy with any males right now. What does he want? Applause for that display of testosterone? (Well, he did prevent a rape.) David says his intentions were good and thinks they both need to go for a long walk on the beach to cool off.

In the B-VOD, the J.G. lick their wounds. Bruce is mortified. If word that David beat the crap out of all of them, alone, they're done as an evil influence. Mark still thinks it would be better to have a force like David working with them, instead of against them, so Bruce gives him just one more chance to bring David around.

David and Teresa walk along the beach. Teresa finally admits she's glad that someone finally fought back. She wishes she had the guts to fight back, too, but it's easy to hide behind Mark. With David making a stand, perhaps she can find some unfound courage, too. They walk on, closer together now.

The J.G. spots David's jeep near the beach. They let Mark out of the B-VOD to go and talk to him. He heads down, towards the water, but spots Teresa's and David's clothes. He can also hear them giggling to each other out in the surf. Mark returns to the B-VOD but just tells them David refused. Bruce promises that once they get a hold of him, David will have nothing to brag about. Mark, again, takes a pass and leaves.

They wait 'til David goes home and confront him in his garage. David is underneath Rodney's car, banging away at something, and refuses to come out to talk to Bruce. Bruce says he'll make him and yanks on David's legs. David resists and slips to the side, knocking the car off the jack. David's leg is crushed under the back axle in a rather graphic scene. The J.G. splits while he screams in agony.

Several days pass while David recovers. He loses his leg but claims he was alone and it was just an accident. Mark and Teresa try to see him but he refuses to see anyone. Teresa confesses to Mark about skinny dipping with David. She wanted to take it further, and David did too, but he refused because she was Mark's girl. 

At the school, all the geeks and nerds (Spoony, Mary, Jane, Oscar, Arthur, Rodney and Harvey) gather together, pining for what might have been if David hadn't gotten hurt. The J.G. quickly breaks them up. David returns to classes with a bad limp, dragging his false leg. Bruce stops and thanks him for not ratting them out. David ominously states that "ratting people out just isn't my style." Bruce knows it's a threat but what can a cripple do to him. 

Plenty.

David's revenge begins out in the parking lot where he sabotages Bruce's hang-glider, stored on top of the B-VOD. The J.G. takes the B-VOD out to Malibu where Bruce climbs into the harness and takes off. Things go smoothly -- until the wire David cut snaps. Bruce loses control and careens into some power-lines where he is electrocuted before he can crash.

Bruce's death is written off as an accident; but we know better. One down, three to go. (Yes, David is gunning for his old friend Mark, too.)

Craig is on the diving team and abuses his privileges by using the pool after school hours. The janitors leave him a note saying the pool is empty, for cleaning. David destroys the note and sabotages the lights. Craig does a jack-knife, off the high-board, into an empty pool. 

Splat.

Two down. Two to go. 

The geek council meets again. Arthur thinks the accidents are more than coincidental. Spoony thinks it's just instant karma on the J.G. Paul tries to bully them into breaking up but David stops him, saying his threats are no good anymore. Mark pulls Paul away from a confrontation while the geeks cheer, claiming they should have made a stand a long time ago. They ask David to join them but he respectfully declines.

Paul thinks David is behind the accidents. Mark doesn't disagree with him but there's nothing they can do except keep a low profile and stay off his radar. (Or go to the police?!?) Teresa tries to talk to David again but he tells her to "just forget about me."

Mark, Teresa and Paul head to the beach. While Paul surfs, the other two argue about David until Teresa stomps off. Paul comes in, more paranoid than ever. He claims he won't be an easy a target as Bruce or Craig. So what does he do? He goes off - by himself - back to the B-VOD. Brilliant. He opens the back door and throws his surfboard in. He crawls in and we hear someone hitting him.

David puts the van in neutral and shoves it back down the hill. Mark comes up the cliff in time to see the B-VOD careen out of control, down the road, and chases after it on foot. He watches as the B-VOD flips over the rail and crashes over the cliff and explode. 

Three down.

Mark calls for David who magically appears beside him. He accuses David of murder. He knew it all along. David snaps back then why didn't you do anything to stop me? Mark tries to bring up their old friendship but David says to stuff that crap. So Mark tells him to just get it over with and kill him. David smirks and says there will be no mercy killings. He'll choose when, and where, and hopes Mark will be man enough to at least struggle.

David leaves and Mark goes back to Teresa. He tells her Paul is dead and it was an accident. 

The next day, David strolls through the school, soaking in the peace and harmony he's caused by eliminating the J.G. Everybody gets along great, at first, but anarchy eventually creeps into this new utopia - starting with a harmless food fight in the cafeteria.

That night Teresa rousts David out of bed, begging him not to kill Mark. She knew all along that David was behind the accidents, too. She blubbers that if he kills Mark, he kills her too. Unable to stand the sight of a blubbering woman, David promises that nothing will happen to either of them. 

At the school, the void left by the deceased J.G. is just begging to be filled and proves too tantalizing for some. The geek council is starting to splinter in an attempt to seize power. Oscar is starting to bully people in the hall. Arthur refuses to cooperate with Spoony, Mary or Jane. They all try to separately form an alliance with David but he turns them all down, and grows more frustrated with each offer. Didn't he just fix this problem?

The last straw comes when David finds Rodney in the parking lot driving Bruce's old muscle car. He too wants to join up with David, take over the school, and put the rich kids in their place. David watches as Rodney attacks Mark's car, breaking the headlights and windshield. Inside, Spoony, Mary and Jane track down Mark and Teresa and warn them to join up with them or get swept away.

That night, we spy the disillusioned David in his garage working on some concoction. He dumps the contents into a pipe and applies a fuse. Uh-oh. This isn't going to end well is it?

The next day, Spoony and the girls confront Arthur in the library wanting him to join them. But he can't hear them because he didn't have his hearing aid on. He clicks it on and we hear a high-pitched screech. Arthur seizes up and then collapses -- and we spy blood coming out of his ear. 

Arthur is dead. While Spoony and the others protests their innocence, Oscar roams the halls tossing people around. He moseys up to his locker, opens it - and is blown to bits. The students flee the school in a panic. Harvey and Rodney spot David out in the parking lot and ask if he knows what's going on? He answer some student obviously has gone insane and advises that everyone vacate the premises. 

Mary and Jane hop into Spoony's micro-bus, planning to go and hide out for awhile, before the killer can find them. Rodney hops into his new car, turns the ignition - and the car explodes. Cut to a tent at the bottom of a cliff where three people inside are up to no good. Doing what exactly? I have no idea -- but I bet it has something to do with sex, nudity and drugs. Curse you basic cable and you're high-falutin morality code! The cliff is rocked with explosions, causing a landslide that buries the tent. We pan to the top of the cliff and next to Spoony's van, David surveys his bloody handiwork. We never did get to see who was in the tent but I believe Spoony, Mary and Jane are now part of the cosmic consciousness. You dig? I dig.

David missed one. Harvey finds him in his garage and has a plan. They can frame Mark up for killings - and then David can have Teresa, and he can take over the school. David realizes that the cycle will never end -- unless he does something drastic. 

Where is our non-committal couple anyway? Well, they're still giving sanctions more time. I kid. After nine grisly deaths, Mark has finally decided to do something. Go to the police? No, that would be logical. Instead he's got a gun and they drive to David's garage. He orders Teresa to stay in the car. He heads inside and catches David putting the finishing touches on his latest project of mass destruction.

David is impressed that Mark finally got the stones to act. Mark can understand why he killed Bruce and his goons, but asks why did he kill the others? David thought he was doing good but now realizes that his plan was flawed. He knows now the ultimate remedy for the schools problems: There can be no problem if there is no school.

Teresa takes that inopportune time to barge in. With that distraction, David manages to get the gun away from Mark without much trouble. He excuses himself to execute his plan and locks them inside the garage.

At the school, the alumni dance is in full swing. David moves, emotionlessly, through the revelers; who dance about as well as the denizens of Party Beach. Has he planted the bombs yet? We don't know.

Mark tells Teresa that David is going to blow up the school but, together, they can stop him -- if they can reach him in time. Why? Because David loves Teresa. Sure, why not. Mark manages to kick the door open and they head for the school. On the way, the plot specific radio says that evidence was found in Spoony's van framing him as the killer. (We also notice that Mark's car has magically healed itself from Rodney's earlier attack.)

They break into the gym and spot David, watching the people try to dance, and confront him. He warns that they have about three minutes to get out. Mark and Teresa refuse. David tenses up, he warned them, everybody in the gym is going to die. He leaves but Mark and Teresa just join in the dancing, fully prepared to meet their doom.

David heads outside, stops, then heads back in. While Mark and Teresa dance their lives away, David moves as fast as he can. He retrieves the bomb and gets back outside where he promptly explodes.

Inside the gym, the revelers hear the explosion and head outside to investigate. The older people thinks it's just some damn fool kids playing a prank -- until they spot the smoldering corpse. The police arrive and we pan over to Mark and Teresa. They both agree to make David a hero, saying he discovered that Spoony planted the bombs and died saving them all.

The End

Massacre at Central High was the first exploitation film brave enough to use the word "massacre" in it's title after Tobey Hooper's classic Texas style massacre sent the country into a tizzy two years before. 

I hold out hopes to see Massacre at Central High again, complete, and uncensored, someday. I really think that's one of the main reasons why this film enjoys such a reputation as a cult classic because it's nearly impossible to find. I'm not really sure if wider circulation would help this film's reputation, or hurt it, though.

That may sound kind of harsh but I'm not sure where I stand on it. People, whose opinions I respect, think it's a subversive hidden gem. I can look past the revenge and body count plot and see what writer/director Renee Daalder was trying to convey in the film but, dang it, it comes off as rather obtuse and, dare I say, kind of silly. Let's make a political and social statement that kids can relate to by having them kill each other off after the revolution finally comes?

I think it was George Orwell who said that all revolutions are doomed to failure. No matter how good the intentions are, once the seat of power is overthrown, the revolutionaries will unravel and in most cases, become worse than those who came before them. (See his Animal Farm if you don't believe me.) 

That is the general theme of Massacre at Central High. It is a political allegory but it can't quite decide where it stands or what it stands against. The pendulum swings all the way from the far left - to the far right, throwing punches at everything in between. It's anti-fascist for the first hour or so, then goes Orwellian and anti-socialist for the last part. Every class and social strata are present but the creators are telling us that none of them are worth a spit when power is at stake.

The only good and peaceful times to be had seems to be during the bloody transitions. There is a fine line between utopia and dystopia I guess. One second it's railing against Bruce and his horde, then it's telling you things might have been better while they were in charge. Status quo is good? Change is good? What?!? Make up your mind.

The whole dang crux of the movie is to somehow get the neutral Mark to do something, anything. Only when he finally does take a stand against David, at the end, does the chaos end. But! With everything they've shown us so far, whose to say or how can we believe that a school run by Mark and Teresa is going to be any better? This is a little too nihilistic for me.

The cast does a pretty good job, given the high-brow intentions they're given and saddled with the low-brow execution. Robert Carradine must have really gotten into his character because he doesn't recall the four days he spent filming it. '70s staples Andrew Stevens and Rainbeaux Smith (sans top I've been told) are solid as is future Bradford clan member, Lani O'Grady (Eight is Enough).

The film's best asset, though, is Derrel Maury who is perfect as the brooding David. There is a rage within him that he barely keeps contained and when it breaks, pray your no where near him. Sadly, this appears to be his only film role.

There is a large dichotomy with Massacre at Central High between those who love it -- and those who hate it. Those who love it champion it's message, muddled though it may be. Those who hate it usually watch it based on the notorious title expecting some kind of psycho/slasher flick -- only to get a lesson in civics. The body count is high but the killings aren't very graphic and the filmmakers show a great deal of restraint.

I also feel that it is my civic duty to curb some of the enthusiasm surrounding this film's reputation. I've always said that expectation is a harsh mistress seldom satisfied. Massacre at Central High deserves some credit for being different, and putting a new twist on an old formula, but don't expect too much else. I encourage people to see it. It has it's flaws, and I still have a few complaints and reservations about it. I can't say I loved it but I can respect it for what it tried to do.

Take that for what it's worth. Right now, I gotta go see what other hidden treasures are lurking over there on the bottom shelf.