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Our
Mad
Mammoth Monkey Marathon officially
spins out of control with Toho Studio's
hilarious second appearance of their own Mammoth
Monkey in King
Kong Escapes.
(The
first appearance, of course, being the
title bout in King
Kong vs. Godzilla.)
Here, our strange
pipe-dream of big-headed monkeys with tiny
little legs, pulsating lights, and kinky
spy shenanigans kicks off underwater with
the crew of the UN Submarine Explorer
as it searches for oil. Under the command
of Commander Carl Nelson (Rhodes
Reason), Susan Watson (Linda
Miller -- who is dubbed for some reason,
but still looks darned cute in that
majorette outfit cum-uniform), the
ship's chief medical officer, finds him in
his quarters chatting with Lt. Hiro Nomura
(Akira Takarada -- a veteran of
many Kaiju epics) and studying some
pictures of gorillas.
Intrigued,
they tell her that this certain gorilla is
over 60ft. tall, and Nelson asks if she's
ever heard of Kong. Susan has
heard the tales of the legendary ape but
thinks it's just a myth. Namura shows her
photos of a giant stairway that lead up to
a large cave on Mondo Island, where the
creature allegedly lives. Nelson has spent
his entire life studying the creature and
is more than a little disappointed that
they're so close to Mondo Island but
can’t stop to take a look. (The
UN frowns on going off mission for
personal reasons, especially to look for
alleged giant monkeys.)
We
then crash-bang-zoom cut to the North Pole
where dirty work is afoot at the secret
base of the mad mechanical genius, Dr. Who
(Eisei
Amamoto). We realize he’s a
crazed genius because the centerpiece of
his operation is a giant robot version of
Kong. Bragging up his
creation
to the mysterious Madame X (Mia
Hama), secret-agent/super-spy of
some unknown government, who is funding
the Doctor’s operation. The base is near
a large deposit of Element X, which makes
uranium look like plain old gravel. And whatever
government controls Element X, will
control the world. Who
designed his robot from notes he stole
from Nelson, and plans to use it to dig
out the radioactive substance. (You’d
think there’d be an easier way, but
remember, he’s a demented evil genius so
just humor him.)
Spy
girl warns that he had better succeed this
time -- or else! As Dr. Who activates the
robot, he offers Ms. X a front row seat to
watch the action. The robot comes to life
and heads outside the hangar. (They
seem to be sending the control signals by
banging on the same organ key again and
again and again…) Approaching a
large crevice, the robot starts detaching
grenades from his chest and dropping them
into the hole. (Extreme strip
mining!) After
several detonations, Mecha-Kong banzai
dives into the hole. Then, after several
more grenade tosses, a large glowing mass
of Element X appears. Who orders the robot
to dig it up, but suddenly, the robot
sputters out and collapses -- the
radiation from the deposit has shorted out
his circuits. (Of
course, Who blames his hired help.)
Dr.
Who promises Ms. X that the robot can be
rebuilt with better shielding, but it’s
too late and she's ready to withdraw her
nation's support. Who counters, saying
that without financing, he can’t fix the
robot. However, he's sure he can find
someone else to fund the project
and he can give them the precious
metal. She relents but only agrees to give
Who just thirty more days.
Back
in the sub, a convenient underwater
rockslide damages the rudder so they have
to surface for repairs. While his boat
gets fixed, Nelson takes the opportunity
to explore Mondo Island. Namura and Susan
join him in a nifty hovercraft and they
soon land on the beach and drive inland.
They stop, disembark, and begin to look
for signs of Kong. Hearing
strange voices, a lone loony islander
appears and accuses them for trespassing,
and warns them to get off or face the
wrath of King Kong. Nelson wants to
question the squirrelly bugger, but he
quickly disappears. Leaving Susan by the
car, "where it’s safe" (uh-oh),
the men head up the hill to find the old
coot. They
barely reach the top of the hill when a
Tyrannosaurus Rex bursts through the
jungle foliage below. (It
has come to be known as Gorosauraus
and it’s one of the better Kaiju suits
Toho ever created.) Susan screams
as it spots her and closes in for a little
snack. The men hear her too, see the
monster, and hustle back down. And the men
aren't the only ones who
hear her...In a cave, a set of papier-mâché
eyes blink open and the camera zooms out
to reveal our titular hero, King Kong, who
leaves his lair to investigate the
commotion. Arriving on scene with a
patented war hoop, Kong thumps his chest
in a challenge to the dinosaur.
Here,
we get our first full body shot of Kong
and we are struck by the strangely odd
body proportions of the animal. And if
the huge head, broad shoulders and long
arms perched on those tiny little legs
don’t bring a smile to your face, then
check your pulse 'cuz you may be dead.
The
dinosaur backs off a little, allowing Kong
to scoop Susan up. The ape is fascinated
with her, so he decides to keep and play
with her -- but he’s gotta take care of
the old Tyrannosaurus first. Placing her
in a nearby tree, he roars into battle.
And it's a pretty good Kaiju rumble as the
dinosaur has the upper hand at first,
using a kangaroo kick to keep Kong at bay.
But Kong finally gets close enough and
ferociously pummels the monster into
submission. Kong then retrieves his prize
from the tree just as the men catch up. Nomura
raises his rifle to shoot but Nelson stops
him. Susan pleads with Kong to put her
down and, to everyone’s amazement, he
obeys her.
Turns
out the Tyrannosaurus wasn’t quite dead
yet and clamps onto Kong’s leg. Roaring
in pain, the ape starts pummeling the
lizard again. Nelson and Namura seize the
opportunity, retrieve Susan and head back
to the hovercraft. They load up and head
back to the beach. Meanwhile, Kong
finishes off the dinosaur by breaking its
lower jaw -- just
like old granddad back on Kong Island.
The
incident also proposes that dinosaurs
were filled with Scrubbing Bubbles
sending paleontologist scrambling back
to check the fossil records.
Kong
pursues them to the beach but the craft is
already in the water and halfway back to
the sub. Nomura spots another monster, a
sea serpent, racing right toward them.
Kong sees it, too, and sends a rock
missile that gongs the serpent right in
the head. (Again,
if you’re not laughing at this display
of marksmanship, call 911 right away.) Kong
wades out and battles the serpent,
allowing the others to safely reach the
sub. But Kong quickly dispatches the small
beast and comes after them. The sub
can’t get away because the repairs
aren’t quite done. Kong seizes and
shakes the craft but doesn’t tear it
apart. Nelson believes he means them no
real harm, so he allows Susan to go out on
deck to try and calm him down until the
repairs can be finished.
Kong
is happy to see her, and scoops her up to
take her back home; but she says she
doesn’t want to go and belongs on the
ship. (Using
the old tried and true, If they don’t
understand what you’re saying -- say it
again, only slower and LOUDER.) Eventually
the ape gets the point and returns her to
the sub, then heads back to shore. The
repairs finished, the sub heads for the UN
Headquarters in New York to make a report
on their amazing discovery. It won't be a
long layover as the UN plans to send them
right back to Mondo Island and study Kong
in his native habitat.
At
the ensuing press conference, Madame X,
disguised as a reporter, asks why Kong
seemed to listen and obey Susan, which
leads to this priceless line from Nelson:
"It’s very easy for us to
understand. As ridiculous as this may
sound, Kong is a male and Ms. Watson is a
-- well, see for yourselves."
Yep,
that’s pretty danged ridiculous.
Ms.
X slinks off, turns her hat into a radio
and calls Dr. Who. They’ve changed their
plans and want to use the real Kong
to dig up the Element X. The problem is, How
will they control him? The Doctor has his
own ideas, while Ms. X believes Susan is
the key.
Dr.
Who leads the attack on Mondo Island with
his fleet of helicopters. They drop gas
bombs, knocking the ape out. While they
secure the monster for transport, the old
loon comes out of the jungle and tells
them to leave the monkey alone. Who
promptly shoots him three times, stating
plainly, "Kong is now mine."
They airlift Kong to a waiting tanker and
head back to the North Pole. (Not
as goofy as the balloon lift in King
Kong vs. Godzilla
but goofy enough.)
The
UN expedition arrives on Mondo and finds
plenty signs of a fight but no sign of
Kong. Namura and Susan find the old loon
-- and the tough old coot is still alive.
His wounds are mortal, though, but he
lives just long enough to tell them that
an "oriental skeleton" and a
"devil disguised as a man" has
ape-napped Kong. This doesn't seem like
much of a lead but Nelson knows it can be
none other than "that international
Judas" Dr. Who.
Kong
wakes up in a cage at Who’s North Pole
stronghold. He doesn’t know quite what
to make of his robot double. (I
think he’s still under the influence of
the ether.) Who assures Ms. X that
they having nothing to fear from the UN,
and then sets into motion his plan to
hypnotize Kong into obeying him. Lowering
a large, glowing disco ball into Kong’s
field of view (You are getting
sleepy…), Kong goes off to la-la
land allowing Who’s goons to implant
control diodes into his ears. In the
resulting stupor, Kong
obeys the Doctor's orders to start
digging. And he proves a natural digger as
he quickly burrows a new tunnel to the
Element X deposit.
While
watching this scene I kept
thinking about that old Sesame Street
sketch where the Cookie Monster had to
eat his way through an avalanche to get
a trainload of goodies through to the
children. "Through! Through!
Through! He'll get that train
through!"
But
the glowing metal shorts out the diodes,
allowing Kong to snap out of it, and the
ape goes berserk. Who
appears to have been prepared for this and
drops a huge gate, sealing Kong inside the
cave. Plan (A) didn’t work, so they'll
resort to Plan (B) and hatch a plot to
abduct Nelson, Namura and especially
Susan to control the ape for them.
Who
sends his henchman, disguised as UN
agents, to intercept our heroes on their
way to Tokyo. As the trio board the
transport plane, Namura smells something
fishy but by then it’s too late and they
are whisked away to the North Pole. Nelson
figures out that Who needed Kong to do
something evil so he won’t cooperate.
Susan won’t either, so they're all
dumped in a cell to await their fate.
Trying for a more subtle approach, Nelson
has a private meeting with Ms. X in her
swanky spy suite. She offers him the
opportunity to take Who’s place, and
together, they can rule the world -- but
the evil Doctor catches them and breaks
the meeting up.
Tired
of being subtle, Who resorts to torture
and tries to freeze his prisoners into
submission but they still refuse to
cooperate. Who then tries to push
Susan’s face against the flash frozen
metal. His lady in trouble, Kong picks
that moment to finally break out, saving
her. In the panic and confusion, the
guards run off, leaving the cell door
open, allowing our heroes escape.
Kong
breaks away into the cold arctic tundra.
He doesn’t like it and heads south. Dr.
Who dispatches Mecha-Kong after him but
Kong makes it to the water, dives in, and
swims off. (The
robot can’t go after him in the water.) Ms.
X rounds up the escapees and turns them
over to Who (but
she seems to be having a change of heart.)
They all pile into Dr. Who’s boat and
head after the rogue gorilla. Along the
way, they install the glowing disco ball
on top of the robot Kong's head. Soon,
over the radio, they hear reports that
Kong has swum all the way to Tokyo and has
headed inland. (That’s gotta be
some king of record.)
Tokyo
starts to evacuate and sends in the army
to battle the beast. Meanwhile, Dr.
Who’s freighter docks in Tokyo Bay. By
now, Ms. X has had a complete change of
heart and helps our heroes escape. (Her
sudden 180-degree turn is due to the fact
that she doesn’t want to see all the
destruction that Element X or the dueling
Kongs could wrought on the world.)
She remains behind while the others escape
and make it ashore just as Who activates
Mecha-Kong and sends him off to round up
the real Kong.
Nelson
reaches the UN defense force's HQ and,
somehow, manages to convince them to back
off and let his team handle Kong. Namura
and Susan rush to Kong’s side, just in
time, as the soldiers and tanks were
preparing to fire. Susan goes to Kong and
calms him down. The peace is short lived,
though, as Mecha-Kong stomps his way on
scene.
Let's
Get Ready to Rumble!!!!
Ignoring
her pleas to just runaway, Kong sets Susan
down and starts slugging it out with the
robot. Blinded by the robots high-beams,
the hypno-disco ball lights up and Kong
starts to sway under its control. Luckily,
a few well-aimed rifle shots from Nomura
quickly puts it out of commission. Mecha-Kong
seizes Susan and starts to shimmy up the
Tokyo Tower. (The
same Tokyo Tower that Mothra destroyed in
her larval stage.) Enraged that it
stole his girlfriend, Kong climbs up after
them to get her back. Then, Dr. Who’s
voice comes over the loudspeakers in the
robot's mouth and orders Kong to return to
the boat or he’ll drop Susan.
But,
back on the boat, Ms. X pulls a gun on Who
and tells him to stop the insanity. As
they struggle for the gun, they bounce on
the control panels causing Mecha-Kong to
drop Susan anyway. Luckily, Kong catches
her and places her unconscious body on a
lower observation deck of the tower. While
Namura climbs up to her eventual rescue,
Who gets the gun away from Ms. X and gets
the Robot back under control. Now
extremely pissed off, Kong continues his
pursuit of the robot further up the tower.
They reach the top and exchange blows,
trying to knock each other off. On the
boat, Ms. X starts pulling wires to
destroy the control panels. She succeeds
but Dr. Who shoots her dead.
Mecha-Kong
reacts badly to his controls being
destroyed, falls off the tower and smashes
into pieces on impact. Kong roars in
triumph as Nelson, Namura and Susan
reunite at the base of the tower.
Dawn
breaks, and Dr. Who orders his men to set
sail immediately. But it’s too late as
the look-out spots Kong and Co. rapidly
approaching. Susan tells Kong to stop
Who’s ship. He does more than that.
First, he cripples it, and then proceeds
to destroy it. And we last see Dr. Who
trapped under a table, in his flooding
control room, as his ship goes under. Kong
lets out one more triumphant roar and then
swims away. Susan calls after him but
Namura stops her and says to let him go.
And Nelson puts the film to bed by saying,
"I think he’s had enough of what we
call civilization."
Amen.
The
End
This
film is actually a co-production between Toho
and Rankin/Bass of the animated Rudolph
the Red Nose Reindeer
fame. Which
might explain the less than passing
resemblance between this Kong and the
Abominable Bumble. (They both
definitely bounce.) I
don’t know if it was a collaboration
like The
Green Slime
or if Rankin/Bass got the North American
rights to the film and just handled the
dubbing into English. (Sharp
ears will hear Paul Frees as Dr Who and
Julie Bennet as both Ms. X and Susan.)
The
Rankin/Bass involvement is a little cloudy
but the usual Toho culprits are all
present and accounted for. Honda directed
it; Tsuburaya helmed the rubber-suited
mayhem; Kimura wrote it (He
also wrote Rodan
and
several Godzilla
movies, Frankenstein
Conquers the World
and War
of the Gargantuas.);
Ifukube wrote the score for it; and veteran
monster suit man Haruo Nakajima donned the
Kong suit while Hiroshi Sekata played the
robot. (The two also played the
battling Gargantuan brothers.)
Now,
Kong made two appearances for Toho but was
there almost a third?
There’s
been a lot of talk lately that he might
have been scheduled to take on Ebirah in
the film that eventually became Godzilla
vs. the Sea Monster. If you look at
the film it makes sense. Godzilla is
revived with electricity, just like Kong
was in King
Kong vs. Godzilla.
The monster falls for a jungle girl,
carries her around for a while and
eventually dukes it out with some
airplanes. Who knows for sure, but
Godzilla wound up in the film and it
marked the beginning of his career as a
"good guy."
King
Kong Escapes
owes just as much to the oddball spy
flicks Toho was putting out at the time
(1967) as to the Kaiju canon. Dr. Who is
definitely a Bondian villain with his
secret hideout, henchman and demented plan
to take over the world. (But
he definitely doesn’t have a dental
plan. Wow. Check out that lower bicuspid.)
Ms. Hama, herself, was an actual Bond girl
from You
Only Live Twice.
Hama and Amamato also appear in Kagi
no kagi
-- the spy movie that Woody Allen
commandeered, changed the soundtrack, and
then released as What’s
Up Tiger Lily.
This
film’s Kong suit is an absolute riot.
Once you get past the jaw- droppingly odd
body proportions, you’ll realize that
the face is better than the suit used in
the earlier film; it’s more articulate
around the mouth, but the mouth is
inexplicably filled with razor sharp
teeth. It’s eyes are bigger -- and
aren’t in a perpetual squint like it’s
predecessor. (I
assume that was an effort to conceal the
eyeholes.) The zipper isn’t
visible but the seam used to cover it is
pretty obvious. Then again, we know it’s
fake and do we really care?
I
don’t know what it is about these
monsters amok Toho productions that always
give me such a kick. I guess the F/X and
rubber suits offer me something tactile to
look at. Sure, they look goofy but they
look three-dimensional. CGI,
to me, sometimes looks very flat.
There is also a kinetic energy about them,
always bouncing around, beating the hell
out of each other, that I enjoy immensely.
When
I dug into the World Wide Web to get a
little background on this film, the number
of sites and critics who called this film,
"awful", "terrible"
and "annoying" puzzled me. (A
notable exception is my Bad
Movie Planet partner Greywizard.)
Are
these people nuts?!? This film is insane,
bizarre, and most importantly, a helluva a
lot of fun. It's an extremely vivid
chapter in the life of King Kong. So much
so that I’m beginning to regret not
using this film as the wrap-up for Monkey
See-Monkey Doo- Doo!
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