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It’s
a bright sunny day and a small crowd gathers to witness the
dedication of a new suspension bridge. The mayor and the chief of
police are having a little trouble with feedback on the public
address speakers. They finally get it working when the ribbon
cutting ceremony is interrupted by the Faux Four, better known as,
The Monkees.
They
appear to be running from something. Micky Dolenz dives off the
bridge and falls into the water below. The water transforms into
psychedelic colors as "The
Porpoise Song"
plays. Several mermaids join him and they swim away.
Cut
to The Monkees house; and a beautiful girl passes from Micky, to
Peter Tork, to Mike Nesmith and finally Davy Jones. She kisses them
all. Mike wants to take it a little further but she laughs at him
and leaves.
Cut
to several television screens; showing life in the '60s as The
Monkees piss and moan about being stereotyped and manufactured
origins. After they promise to give the people what they expect, a
brutal assassination of a Vietnamese POW is shown on all screens -
except one, where a woman is screaming. (It’s
revealed that she’s just a rabid fan of the group.)
Cut
to a football field; as they lead the crowd in a cheer for war, we
jump to a four-man foxhole under fire. Peter goes for more ammo,
pauses for a photo for LIFE
magazine, and runs afoul of a football player who just wants to win
the game. He
makes it back to the foxhole and they storm a cave.
They
fight their way in and emerge from the other side in a concert arena,
where they take the stage and tear into a rendition of "Circle
Sky". (Shots
of the audience are inter-cut with scenes of Vietnamese refugees
fleeing for their lives.) They finish the song, the crowd
rushes the stage and tears them apart.
Next
we’re channel surfing through Ronald Reagan speeches, The
Black Cat and
commercials for Ralph Williams Ford Dealership. It finally settles
on a war film where Micky stumbles through the desert. He is out of
food and water but finds a lone Coke machine. He puts in his change
but the machine is empty. Micky flies into a rage and assaults the
machine while a Coke jingle plays.
An
Arab horseman rides up to him, says "Pssssst" in
subtitles, then rides away. A tank rumbles over the dune. The driver
quickly surrenders to him then hundreds more appear, all laying
their arms at Micky’s feet, and quickly file away. After they're
gone Micky crawls into the tank, takes aim, and blows the Coke
machine up.
Next
we have another musical interlude, as The Monkees find themselves in
a harem and indulge in the pleasures of the flesh -- and the pipe.
Change
the channels to the wild west, where a wagon train is under Indian
attack. A woman (Teri Garr)
asks Micky to suck the poison out of
her wound. Mike is shot with an arrow as the Indians close in for
the kill. He tells Micky how to remove it; but Micky is tired of
playing make believe and storms off the set, breaking through the
backdrop. Mike follows him.
Change
the channels and we find Davy in front of a Brownstone, playing the
violin. Mike and Micky, still in their cowboy garb, interrupt his
scene. Davy follows them and they wind up in a train yard. A phantom
kook (Timothy
Carey) (whose
made a career out of playing phantom kooks) appears
and yells at them for wandering off the set.
They
leave the kook and head down the street. Their presence causes a
panic and everyone leaves when they enter a café. Inside they find
Peter and a surly waitress who chides them "as God’s gift to
eight year olds." Peter stares into his melting ice cream cone
and we change channels again.
Now
we have Davy in a boxing match with Sonny Liston -- and he’s
losing badly. He flashes back to his violin playing, where he argues
with his girl (Annette Funicello)
about agreeing to be in the fixed
fight.
Back
in the ring, Davy refuses to take a dive. Micky and Mike are in the
audience. Mike criticizes Micky for messing up the fixed fight.
Micky loses it when Mike calls him a dummy and storms the ring.
Mayhem ensues until Peter magically appears and reminds everyone
that he is always the dummy and we jump back to the melting ice
cream. (It’s obvious these guys were trying to break out of
their TV characters - where Peter was always the idiot.)
Back
at the café, Peter slugs the surly waitress. The scene is wrapped
and the director and crew spill onto the set. (Including
Jack Nicholson and Dennis Hopper. Nicholson was the films co-writer
and producer.) Peter
is worried and tells the director (Bob
Rafelson) and
basically anyone who’ll listen, that he isn’t happy about having
to hit a girl.
It
suddenly starts snowing and we have another musical interlude. It
begins with serene scenes of nature that quickly dissolve to chaos
with the intrusion of civilization, billboards, power lines etc.
Change
the channels, again, and suddenly we find the boys in a factory with
a tour guide. Davy notices something isn’t quite right but is too
late because they are all locked in a large dark room. (To
be known from here on out as the dreaded black box.)
Floodlights
blind them and a director orders them onto a giant false head. They
are supposed to be dandruff for a commercial. They rummage around in
the hair and it's revealed that they are crawling around on Victor
Mature’s head.
A
vacuum cleaner sucks the miniature Monkees up but Davy gets stuck in
the pipe. The others wind up in the vacuum bag and marvel at the
giant reefer butt they find. Davy manages to crawl out of the vacuum
and we get another musical interlude.
The
song ends and Davy goes outside where he meets Frank Zappa (!?!)
leading around a large Hereford bull. Frank advises Davy to work
more on his music, instead of his dancing, because the music is what
it’s really all about.
The
dread black box emerges out of the street and the other three
Monkees emerge. They are accosted by a police officer (Logan
Ramsey). He wants to know where they
came from. He listens to their story about the factory, the
dandruff, and the vacuum, and is ready to haul them in on suspicion
of drug use, when Davy and military parade saves them.
Davy
goes into a restroom and sees a large evil eye in the mirror but
Peter doesn’t see it. Davy looks in the mirror again and suddenly
finds himself on the House
of Usher set,
complete with sinister laughing. He heads for a large red door. He
opens it to reveal a very large bug.
Only
he isn’t looking at it. It’s Micky in a pith helmet and a
magnifying glass. He’s captured by jungle savages and chained to a
wall with Peter and Mike. The wall revolves and they find themselves
in the bathroom - where Davy saw the giant eyeball. The policeman
rousts them out of the john. The cop looks in the mirror, sees
Victor Mature, and passes out.
Change
the channels, again, and we find Mike in bed -- who's then rudely
awakened by a doorbell. Peter finally answers the door and it’s
telegram. He reads the telegram and winds up on the House
of Usher set,
too. Mike comes out of the bedroom but finds everybody's gone. He
trips out, and the film switches to negative, as he retreats slowly
back into his room.
But
it was all a trick for a surprise party for Mike. Mike isn’t happy
because all he wanted to do was stay in bed. The phantom kook shows
up again and rants some more.
Cut
to Mike and Davy in jail, while Peter is in a steam room with a
mystical guru, Abraham Sofaer,
getting advice on the cosmos. When he
thinks he has it all figured out, he leaves and finds Mike and Micky
betting on whether a girl will jump off a building or not. He tries
to tell them what he’s found out but they won’t listen.
He
goes into the bathroom again and finds Davy but he won’t listen,
either. They regroup but as Peter tries to warn them, they are
herded back into the dreaded black box. Peter then goes into a
mystical spiel until he inspires Davy to just kick the wall down.
They
fight their way outside of the factory and begin revisiting earlier
sets. They run into the phantom kook but manage to dispose of him
with a handy cannon. But a 50-foot Victor Mature scares them back
inside the box.
The
box is airlifted and dropped into the desert, where it breaks open.
The soldiers, the Arabs, the Indians, the women and Victor Mature
all surround them. (Even
the Coke machine.)
The
film kicks into surreal overdrive as they wind up back in the
factory but fight their way back out. They wind up in a dune buggy
and escape the lot but wind up back in the desert. Big Vic Mature is
right on their tail and kicks the dune buggy over and The Monkees
flee for their lives.
They
are pursued by everyone and head for a bridge, where a dedication
ceremony is taking place. The mayor and the chief of police are
having trouble with the microphone. The Monkees plow through the
ribbon ceremony and they all jump off the bridge. They hit the water
and the pretty colors and "The
Porpoise Song"
kicks up again. Everything seems nice and peaceful until they
realize they are trapped in an aquarium -- that looks suspiciously
like the dreaded black box.
The
end
Let’s
get a few things out of the way first.
Personally,
I like the Monkees. Did they play their own instruments? I don’t
care. I liked the show and their music wasn’t bad even if they
didn’t write most of it. (How
many songs do you think Elvis wrote himself? Long live the King!)
But I do get a little tired of them when they whine about their
artistic merit.
The
film is a collaboration between the group and their show's director,
Bob Rafelson, and producer, Jack Nicholson.
The
film was shot during the downhill slide of Monkee-mania and the
film's disastrous results at the box office, coupled with the
group's growing disinterest and rebellion against management, spelt
the end of The
Monkee's TV show.
After
the Monkees plug got pulled, Rafelson and Nicholson went off to do Five
Easy Pieces, while the Monkees
eventually fell apart.
HEAD
is one strange film. The newspaper advertisements for it asked,
"What is HEAD?" And the answer is? I’m not sure.
It
really isn’t a film -- but a stream of consciousness, or random
thoughts patched together. I think it could be best described as
channel surfing when there's nothing on. You stick around long
enough to see that you don't want to watch it and move on; but here,
the Monkees have their fingers on the remote.
Some
say it has no plot. (I
hope not, I just spent an hour typing it up.) There is one,
it’s just hard to follow the circular logic.
It
is rumored the entire film was scripted into a tape recorder as they
all got high. (Somehow
I believe this rumor is true.) The
film is a surreal journey about nothing in particular. You can see
the point they were trying to make, though, and it’s about as
subtle as using a sledgehammer to change a light bulb when you think
about it.
Yes,
The Monkees are trapped by their own success. (The
dreaded black box.) And whenever they try to leave, to try
something different, they are met with great resistance and are
forcefully herded back into the box. (I think the phantom
kook is supposed to be representing their management.)
It
also makes stinging commentary on commercialism, celebrity and war.
It also holds a mirror up to their rabid fans that are so caught up
in Monkee-mania, that they don’t see the horrors that are going on
in the world around them.
HEAD
borders dangerously close on being too pretentious for its on good.
Its saving grace, I believe, is the fact that this allegedly
shallow, manufactured group, is sincere with their message.
Now
if I can just figure out what that giant Victor Mature was all
about?
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