We open on Halloween night a long time ago in the lab of Dr. Victor Frankenswine. Working himself up into a good lather, the mad scientist rants and raves that they won’t be laughing at him anymore. No sir. With his monster almost complete, he promises everyone "a night they’ll never forget", and then laughs maniacally while holding a jar of magic elixir.

We jump ahead to Halloween night a short time ago. Wiltshire Pig and his employees, Vince (another pig), and Sheldon (a snail), field-test a new rocket-themed carnival ride. We deduce that Wiltshire is a (heh-heh) greedy little pig as Vince is strapped in as the, well, guinea pig. Wiltshire cranks up the ride and the rocket violently goes into action. It swings and pivots on an arm, and crashes into the ground, repeatedly, like a hammer, jarring Vince’s loose change out of his pockets and into a waiting bucket. Ecstatic, with dollar signs in his eyes, Wiltshire cranks it up to full blast in spite of Sheldon’s protests. The ride overloads, and the rocket dislodges and flies off into the wild blue yonder with Vince still aboard.

Now that Wiltshire and Sheldon have found the journal, if they act immediately, and follow the map imprinted on Sheldon’s tongue (don’t ask), they can win an instamatic camera, a tote bag, or the all-powerful monster. Wiltshire sees this as his ticket to world domination but Sheldon won’t cooperate -- until he's convinced that his boss is only after the tote bag.

They follow the map to Frankenswine’s Castle. Posing as trick or treaters, they knock on the door and are answered by a hideous, undulating, multi-eyed thing. They are terrified by the creature, but she cordially invites them in; it seems there is a Halloween Gathering of Spirits -- or more appropriately, a Monster Convention, being held at the castle, and it’s in full swing. The "I’m Dead -- You’re Dead" seminar is in the Cottonwood Room, while the De-composium is being held in the Oak Room.

The Thing mistakes them for Dr. Jekyll (Wiltshire) and Mr. Hyde (Sheldon.) She -- I think it's a she, gives them their nametags and Wiltshire asks where the laboratory is. But she mishears him and they wind up in the lavatory instead. Rereading the map, this time they wind up in the cocktail lounge. Dracula seats them at a table with a skeleton whose passed out after imbibing several martinis. Sheldon wants to leave, but Wiltshire says not to worry because no one knows they’re really alive. The drunken skeleton hears this, rouses drunkenly and introduces himself as Famine -- one of the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (and in his drunken state he can barely get all that out.) He warns that they’re dead meat if anyone else finds out they’re really alive. (He doesn’t care, he’s drunk and on sabbatical.)

Famine introduces them to the other menacing Horseman. But they are as drunk as he is, so Wiltshire and Sheldon manage to sneak away. In the hall, they spot a sign for a science demo, assume it's the lab, but wind up in an auditorium. The Blob's the emcee and assumes he really is Dr. Jekyll (the demo’s featured speaker). He rushes Wiltshire on stage, interrupting Dr. Nietzsche's self-motivational speech. ("Every day and every way, I’m getting deader and I’m getting deader.") Wiltshire mixes a bunch of noxious chemicals together and they explode. The audience chants, "Chug it! Chug it!", wanting him to drink the residue. (God I love this movie.) Wiltshire declines, and brings out his assistant, Sheldon, to drink it instead. But Sheldon retreats into his shell, so Wiltshire pours it in the opening. Then out pops a cute Care Bear, singing a happy song, much to the audience’s dismay. In a panic, Wiltshire throws more chemicals into the shell -- but this only makes it worse and they’re yanked of stage.

They run into Wiltshire’s dead grandmother (a skeleton with an old lady hat and cane) who recognizes them, realizes they’re still alive, and tries to raise an alarm. Trying to keep her quiet, they only manage to pull her apart; but she keeps on screaming. The other monsters are alerted and thus the chase begins. Our heroes manage to stay one step ahead until they pass a pay phone. Wiltshire can’t help but to stop and check if there’s any loose change. All he finds in the coin slot, though, is another medallion -- like the one they found before. It triggers a trapdoor under them, but Wiltshire manages to grab onto the phone receiver, dangling them over the open pit. While the monsters close in, the trapdoor shuts, snapping the line. 

The other monsters start to break in and they accidentally knock the little monster down a floor drain. They take the beaker of elixir and pour a bunch down the drain, hoping to make him grow bigger. Nothing happens, and the other monsters break in. They turn the mortals over to a creature with a chainsaw, but he can’t get it started -- until Sheldon advises him about the choke. So our boys are about to be filleted, when the ground starts shaking. Everyone freezes, and Frankenswine’s monster pokes its head through the drain. (It’s considerably bigger.) Wiltshire pours more elixir on him and he grows big enough to fill the entire lab, scaring the other monsters off.

Wiltshire goes bonkers and pours more elixir on the monster. It grows at a tremendous rate, to colossal proportions, and the castle crumbles around him. Sheldon yells at Wiltshire to stop but he empties the elixir bottle completely. The castle destroyed, all the other monsters flee in terror. (The castle’s top balcony rings the monster’s head and that’s where Wiltshire is positioned.) Surveying the countryside and soaking it all in, Wiltshire commands the giant monster to walk and it takes its first few, tentative, steps. Wiltshire is so overcome with joy, he breaks into a chorus of "Climb Every Mountain" as his monsters stomps around the countryside. But before the song reaches the climax, a rocket roars into view. It’s Vince on the runaway carnival ride.

The rocket bounces off the balcony, taking Wiltshire with it. He rides the nosecone as it buzzes around the monster’s head -- until it crashes right into it's nose and sticks there. After a pregnant pause, the sound of air escaping fills the air -- and the monster starts to rapidly deflate. Wiltshire is beside himself as the monster peeters out, like a runaway balloon, until it reaches its original size. After another pregnant pause, they all plummet to the Earth.

Well, almost, wait for the end of the credits for one more joke.

Vinton is a pioneer in stop-motion animation who coined the phrase -- Claymation. He's won an Oscar and several Emmys for his work. We’ve seen a sample of it here, already, with the opening credits in Brain Donors. His studio was also responsible for the Noid, Domino’s Pizza former accident-prone pitchman (now who remembers that thing?), and the current animation for the new M&M commercials. My favorite, though, is that Nissan commercial where the GI Joe doll comes to life, hops in his car and takes Barbie for a spin (while a disappointed Ken looks on) to the tune of Van Halen’s cover of "You Really Got Me" (done originally and better by The Kinks.)

Wiltshire Pig and Vince would return a year later in a similar Easter Special. In another attempt to make money, Wiltshire conspires to become the new Easter Bunny and get rich on endorsement deals. He has to engage in gladiatorial combat in his converted VW Rabbit robot with other contenders. It’s not quite as good as this one but well worth a rental. Vinton also has a Christmas Special out featuring the Raisins, so I won’t touch it.

The reasons I really love animated films like this is because the creators took the time and care and applied a wicked sense of humor in the attention to details on their sets. You’ll find yourself freeze framing constantly to read the graffiti on the bathroom stalls, and laugh as the Creature has a piece of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of his foot. And Frankenswine’s lab is amazing: Beaker’s bubble, liquid oozes and Tessla Coils spark off. (This is Claymation mind you.) I also got a kick that they dress the monster in a Little Lord Fauntleroy suit. His growing sequence is matched only by his deflating sequence for animated technical skill. And on top of it, it’s absolutely hilarious to watch. The most important thing in comedy is timing. In animation, I would think it would be more difficult to accomplish this but the filmmakers get the job done.

The traditional monsters are wonderfully realized, too, especially the Blob and the Four Horseman. At the convention itself, I laughed because most of the monsters are half crocked and everybody wears a nametag and a Fez. (Monsters imitating Shriners always cracks me up.) It’s like an old Cracked Magazine salute to monsters issue beautifully come to life.

In fact, I enjoyed this film so much I decided to keep the monster party going. So pack you bags and make reservations for the Isle of Evil. Then put on your tuxedo or cocktail dress, and grab your Fez and a martini glass because we’ve got a Mad Monster Party to attend.

Posted: 07/26/01. Copy and paste at your own legal risk.

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