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Wiltshire
Pig appears to have fully recovered from his
last adventure. And along with Vince,
his haggard but loyal employee, try to
perfect yet another get quick rich scheme:
This
scheme finds them in Wiltshire’s Quonset
workshop, running field tests on a new
shark proof diving suit. Wearing the
allegedly shark proof suit, Vince is
dangled over a shark tank. Vince thinks
that since Wiltshire designed it, he
should be wearing it just as the giant
shark roars out of the tank and swallows
him whole, snapping the tether line, and
falls back into the water. Wiltshire notes
that the test results are
"inconclusive."
Positive
that he is brilliant but cursed to
failure, Wiltshire goes back to the
drawing board. Tuning the radio in to the
Dr. Spike talk show, since Easter is only
a week away, Dr. Spike (the
bunny version of Fraiser Crane)
is interviewing the Easter Bunny. Spike
starts taking questions from callers and
Wiltshire’s ears perk up when one asks
why E.B. turned down a five million-dollar
endorsement deal for tennis shoes. E.B.
says he always turns down endorsement
deals. Being the Easter Bunny is an
ancient and sacred trust, and he won’t
violate them for money. Wiltshire calls in
and asks, heaven forbid, what if something
"tragic" happened to E.B: Who
would replace him? He answers that,
according to ancient customs, a new Easter
Bunny would be chosen.
Armed
with that information, Wiltshire hatches
another mad scheme. Disguising himself as
a vacuum salesman, he knocks on E.B.’s
door and blusters his way inside, and then
cranks up the SUX vacuum cleaner, sucking
up everything inside the house --
including E.B. Phase one of his plan
complete, Wiltshire hauls his captive,
still in the vacuum cleaner, back to his
lair. Chaining the vacuum to a post (E.B.’s
eyes and ears are exposed out the top), the
news breaks over the radio that the Easter
Bunny is missing and the police suspect
foul play. If he isn’t found by Friday,
a great Easter Race will be held to
determine a replacement. Wiltshire plans
to be that replacement, but E.B. says that
a pig can’t be the Easter Bunny.
Wiltshire warns that one more contrary
word and he’ll use the vacuum to sweep
under the fridge.
To
be the Easter Bunny, Wiltshire must think,
act, and in a sense, become a bunny. So he
turns to Dr. Spike for help. Wearing a
bunny suit he claims to be a pig trapped
in a rabbit’s body, and wants "to
come out of the closet" -- by Friday
at the latest. Spike is suspicious (he
knows the Great Race is Friday.)
He says being a rabbit isn’t as easy as
it sounds, and isn’t sure if he can
divulge any privileged information. He
finally agrees when Wiltshire says it was
his mother’s dying wish that he become a
rabbit.
But
being a rabbit is quite a commitment of
nuance, subtlety and fluffy tail waving.
So Spike gives Wiltshire a stack of
textbooks to read and they’ll start
training in the morning. The
first lesson is burrowing into a garden
and stealing carrots. Wiltshire digs a
tunnel into the vegetable patch and starts
pilfering carrots -- until he’s
discovered by a vicious bulldog and torn
to pieces. (I
have the feeling that Spike is on to
Wiltshire and is running him through the
wringer on purpose.) The
last test is an existential/Zen like exercise:
The art of freeway crossing. Spike takes
Wiltshire to a lonely stretch of road, and
gives Wiltshire a nice Yoda speech about
stretching your senses, becoming one with
the pavement, and to just flow across the
road. Wiltshire wasn’t listening because
every time he sets foot on the road,
he’s flattened by a truck that roars out
of nowhere. After three disastrous
attempts to cross, Spike takes what’s
left of the battered Wiltshire home to his
workshop. Spike spots a familiar set of
eyes and ears protruding from the vacuum
cleaner, but Wiltshire springs a trapdoor
and both Spike and E.B. fall into a pit.
Above, Wiltshire gloats that by tomorrow,
he will be the Easter PIG! (Cue
maniacal laughter and snorting fit.)
The
Great Race is to be held at a large
coliseum and it’s filled to capacity.
Wiltshire approaches the official’s
table and tries to register. He claims to
be a rabbit but they easily see through
his disguise. Wiltshire finds out that
there is no written rule that only rabbits
are allowed to compete and threatens to
sic the ACLU on them unless they let him
enter. Fear of another lawsuit quickly
gets him in the Great Race.
Back
at the workshop, Spike and E.B. are
suspended over the shark tank. E.B. thinks
it’s a dolphin until the shark jumps out
and swallows them whole. Inside the shark,
they find Vince, alive and well, playing a
game of solitaire. Spike says don’t mind
us we’re just PASSING through." (Wanh-wanh-wanh-waaaaaanh-boing!)
Phase
one of the Great Race is about to start,
so Wiltshire and the other contestants
step up to the starting line. The
starter’s pistol is fired and Wiltshire
takes off running but realizes no else
has. He looks back and sees the other
bunnies are perched on top of some nests,
trying to hatch an Easter Egg. Wiltshire
sits on his but quickly loses his patience
with the egg. He
knocks on the egg and orders the chick to
come out. But the surly chick refuses,
saying he’s not done incubating yet. Not
to be denied, Wiltshire places a bomb
beside the egg and the resulting explosion
cracks the egg open -- and takes out a
couple of rivals as well. The chick waves
the white flag and surrenders. The crowd
boos Wiltshire's victory.
Back
inside the shark, Vince suggests they
build a fire, like they did in Pinocchio,
but Spike says there’s too much stomach
acid. E.B. says his stomach is upset too.
That gives Spike an idea: He breaks out in
song, singing "Please Release
Me", with a mournful, soul-wrenching
kick. It quickly works on E.B., who starts
sobbing. The shark, however, will take a
little longer.
Phase
two of the Great Race is the Easter Egg
delivering contest. An obstacle course
with several cardboard cutouts of children
are strategically placed on the playing
field. The rabbits will be scored on time
and style points. As the other rabbits
take up their egg baskets and start up
their mopeds, Wiltshire
cranks up his VW Rabbit convertible (to
the tune of "Low
Rider")
and activates the onboard computer. The
convertible transforms into a giant robot
mecha-bunny and stomps into action,
crushing the other bunnies that get his
path. Wiltshire approaches the first
target and presses the fire button. The
hood pops open and two mechanical arms
seize a couple of chickens and throttle
them. The chickens drop a payload of eggs
that splatter all over the target. The
overtaxed robot bunny overloads and breaks
down. However, Wiltshire has won again
because he's the only contestant left
standing. But he must pass one more test
to be crowned the new Easter Bunny:
Freeway crossing. A long stretch of
pavement magically appears running through
the coliseum.
Back
at the workshop, Spike kicks it up a notch
and the shark starts to break down and
blubber up.
The
crowd goes deathly quiet as Wiltshire
approaches the pavement. He cautiously
takes a step out onto the asphalt, and
he's as surprised as everyone else when
nothing happens. He takes a few more
steps. Still, nothing happens. Wiltshire
is ecstatic and breaks into an impromptu
victory dance (completed
with a Michael Jackson crotch grab.)
The crowd boos him mercilessly as he
approaches the throne, victorious, where
his coronation as the new Easter Bunny
will take place.
Finally
succumbing to the power of old Johnny
Mathis tunes, the shark spits out the
offending parties. Luckily, the trajectory
of the shark's belch sends them right
toward the coliseum. The crowd spots them
before Wiltshire is crowned. He scrambles
out of the way and E.B. lands on the
throne; his rightful place. Wiltshire
denies any wrongdoing and backs on to the
freeway where he is promptly flattened by
a truck. The real Easter Bunny is back and
Spike leads the crowd in a rousing
rendition of the "Hallelujah
Chorus" and everyone wishes us a
Happy Easter.
The
end
Will
Vinton strikes again.
While
attendeding the University of California
to study architecture and physics, Vinton
became fascinated with the work of Spanish
sculptor Antonio Gaudi and became obsessed
with clay. He started experimenting with
stop-motion animation and eventually
formed his own studio. His first
production -- a short called Closed
on Mondays,
was the story of a drunken bum who breaks
into a museum and witnesses the exhibits
come alive. And the ending would have made
Rod Serling proud. The film earned Vinton
an Academy Award for best-animated short
He
continued to make animated features and
contributed some special effects for The
Return to Oz.
His most ambitious project, The
Adventures of Mark Twain,
was a critical success. I saw it once on
PBS and would really like to see it again.
I recall a segment on Adam and Eve where
Adam kept riding a log over a waterfall
that kept cracking me up.
It
was about this time that his studio was
contacted by an ad agency to do some
commercials for a certain dried fruit. He
made the dried fruit sing and the rest is
history. The California Raisins took on a
life of their own and eventually led to a
Christmas Special. I guess I should be
thankful for this because the Halloween
and Easter specials are probably a direct
result of it. For a couple of years,
Vinton was making features again, and
I’m still waiting for Wiltshire Pig to
attack St. Patrick’s Day, or find love
-- and make some bacon, on Valentine’s
Day.
A
Claymation Easter
is a wonderful follow up to his Emmy award
winning Halloween special: The
Claymation Comedy of Horrors. A visual
delight that will keep the kids
entertained, it also has enough laughs to
keep the adults entertained too. Keep your
eyes glued to the corners of the screen to
see what the creators jammed into the
frame.
It’s
sad, really, that Vinton has changed his
focus from animated features and films to
commercials and sitcoms. Honestly, I think
he was this close to achieving the same
kind of cult status as Ray Harryhausen.
Instead, unfortunately, all we will
remember him for are the California
Raisins and the Pizza Noid.
And
that's just sad.
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