Our film opens at the reading of the will of gabillionaire Oscar Winterhaven Oglethorpe. Victor Lazlo (John Savident), his slime-ball attorney, wants to begin, but Oscar’s wife, Lillian (Nancy Marchand -- think Margaret Dumont), wants to wait until her personal attorney, Roland T. Flakfizer, arrives to help oversee things. She sends Jacques (Bob Nelson -- think Harpo Marx), her simpleton gardener, to find him, and he tracks Flakfizer (John Turturro -- think Groucho Marx) down at the site of an auto accident. E'yup, Flakfizer is an ambulance chaser, who’s trying to represent both sides of the minor fender bender into suing each other for big bucks.

Jacques grabs him and calls for a cab. They’re picked up by Rocco Melencheck (Mel Smith -- think Chico Marx) and head for the Oglethorpe estate. But Rocco recognizes Flakfizer as the attorney for his wife in their divorce case, and attacks him. (Flakfizer got the judge to triple the alimony payments so he wouldn’t have to sleep with her in cheap motels anymore.) The carnage continues until they realize no one is driving the cab! Managing to get it stopped, they all spill out and Flakfizer, smelling big money to be fleeced from the Oglethorpes, makes peace and hires Rocco as his chauffeur.

When they arrive for the reading of the will, Flakfizer takes over, much to the Lazlo's chagrin. As Jacques and Rocco make general nuisances of themselves, the will is read until Lazlo demands that Jacques be fired for playing a prank. So Flakfizer immediately hires him, too. When asked why, Flakfizer says because it makes Lazlo angry. (Ba-dump-bump.) Long story short, everything is left to Lillian, but she must use part of the money to establish a ballet company. Flakfizer thinks it’s a lousy idea -- until he hears the annual salary for the head of the company and quickly volunteers for the job; but so does Lazlo.

Lazlo claims he can sign the great Valare, for their fledgling company, giving them immediate credibility. Knowing he must sign him first, or lose the job to Lazlo, Flakfizer and his flunkies head off to the ballet, and while Rocco mucks around backstage, Jacques and Flakfizer find their seats and take in the show. (They treat the ballet like Mike and Bots treat the movies on MST3k.) After the show, Flakfizer tries to sign Valare (George de la Pena) but is rebuffed by the snobbish dancer. Meanwhile, Rocco and Jacques want to sign Lisa and Alan (Juliana Donald and Spike Alexander -- the obligatory love interest. Think Kitty Carlyle and Zeppo Marx.) These two want to get married, but Alan is unemployed and can’t afford it. Taking pity on them, they talk Flakfizer into signing them instead and conspire to introduce the couple to Lillian by staging a performance for her at a garden reception. Their thunder is stolen, however, when Lazlo arrives with Valare, who he delivers as promised.

Did Harpo ever have to do that? And Nelson does try to do a patented Harpo "gookie" while taking his mug shot.

Lisa and Alan bail them out, using her severance pay from the ballet company. (Valare had her fired and promises to blackball them from ever dancing again.) Not wanting the bad guys to win, the three start to formulate a plan to get back at their tormentors, and get the young lovers back on stage.

First, they sabotage Valare’s dressing room by sending a lot of delivery people to see him. (Including a lobster gram.) Before you know it, the room is packed with live bodies and Valare is snowed under as the orchestra starts the overture and the ballet begins...

I’d like to describe exactly what happens next, but words can’t do it justice. Let’s just say Flakfizer and company do to the performance what the iceberg did to the Titanic -- including stuffing a whoopee cushion in Valare’s tights, a giant duck amongst the swan dancers, and lighting the conductors baton on fire to liven things up. All of this accompanied by a riveting play by play by Flakfizer. Exposed, Valare is booed off the stage, then Alan and Lisa go on and save the performance. And Jacques gets Lazlo arrested, so all is right in the world. They bask in the glory with Lillian backstage until they hear an ambulance go by. Then all three immediately run off to give chase.

Pat Proft’s career has seen better days. This film’s screenwriter, who had a hand in The Star Wars Holiday Special, and who brought you Police Academy, Bachelor Party and The Naked Gun movies has crapped out recently with washouts like High School High, Mr. Magoo and Wrongfully Accused. Brain Donors came right in the middle of that transition, and it's director Dennis Dugan, who also starred in the tragically short-lived spook-show Shadow Chasers, has graduated to directing Adam Sandler comedies. This production is also a novelty for the Zucker brothers (this time sans producing partner Jim Abrams.) Instead of a spoof, we get an outright homage to the Marx Brothers; in particular, A Night at the Opera. It came out in 1992, bombed, and quickly disappeared.

When my good buddy Naked Bill, a fellow Marx Brothers fan, introduced me to this film, it took about ten seconds into Will Vinton’s Claymation credits to win me over. In fact, the credits are worth the price of the rental. (Also check out his features the Claymation Comedy of Horrors and his Easter Special to see the comic misadventures of Wiltshire Pig.) Even though the film is uneven, I remember several instances were I laughed myself to tears and that my sides hurt by the end. (If that isn’t a recommendation I don’t know what is.)

The plot does go like a typical Marx movie, with three social deviants hell bent on bucking the norm and taking pot shots at the cultural elite. They are oblivious to the world around them, and only interact when they are threatened -- or if there is a profit to be made. The plot is threadbare because all it has to do is move you from one situation to the next. Some gags aren’t as funny as others, but there is enough here to carry the film.

The majority of the gags will seem eerily familiar if your know your Marx Brother’s movies. The emergency room scene is lifted from A Day at the Races. There is a garden party that resembles the one in Duck Soup -- my favorite Marx Brother movie, followed closely by Monkey Business. And the drawing up of a standard contract is almost verbatim from A Night at the Opera. (Alas, there still is no Sanity Clause.) There is also a nod to the stateroom scene where around 1500 people get themselves jammed-up into Valere’s dressing room. And Turturro does a play-by-play during the carnage just like Groucho did in Monkey Business. And as in all of them, there’s the obligatory romantic subplot that helps unite the "brothers" to foil the bad guys. And, of course, the complete and utter destruction of a famous ballet.

John Turturro needs to get more credit for being the versatile actor that he is. The man is a human chameleon. Proven again in O' Brother Where Art Thou. Have you seen it yet? If not, what are you waiting for?! He plays the part with a manic glee and does a nice twist on Groucho. As for Bob Nelson, where did this guy come from and where did he go? No one can be a better, more destructive, manic clown than Harpo Marx but he hold’s his own. (Right down to the bottomless pockets of his raincoat.) Mel Smith has the toughest part to pull off, but at least he didn’t try Chico’s Italian accent. (He also has the film’s best lines.) The scariest thing, though, is how much of a dead ringer Nancy Marchand is for Margaret Dumont. (Whom Groucho often referred to as the honorary Marx Brother.)

I will warn you that this type of humor won’t appeal to everyone. If you don’t like the Marx Brothers, or that type of comedy, this may not be for you. Knowledge of the Marx Brothers films, while helpful, isn’t required. The zingers come fast and furious and can be overwhelming at times. Personally, I’ve always enjoyed their films; there's just such a sense of anarchy whenever they take over a scene. The Three Stooges where better physical comedians, but the Marx Brothers just have a nasty, more cynical edge that I admire.

Now, there is a fine line between ripping off and paying homage, and Brain Donors admittedly teeters on the edge. As to the critics who brand it a total rip-off, I say cut them some slack. Sure, some scenes are directly stolen and some of the jokes fall flat (dare I say they fell flat in the original as well?); but the actors portraying the characters give such an earnest, heartfelt performance that I don’t even think Groucho would mind.

I know I didn’t. I laughed my ass off.

Posted: 03/07/02. Copy and paste at your own legal risk.

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