Big things are brewing for the runners up of the North Valley Baseball League. Seems the Bears have been chosen by Sy Orlansky (Clifton James), a representative from Anheuser/Busch (two great things that go great together -- beer and baseball), to play the Texas state champs in Houston's famed Astrodome. (And why the champion Yankees aren't going is a mystery that's never resolved.) The stakes are high, too, because the winner gets to go to Japan to play an exhibition game against their champion. When the Bears meet for practice, things are kind of in disarray (even for these clowns). All the familiar faces are there: Engleberg, Toby, Jimmy, Jose and Miguel, Ogilve, Stein, Ahmad and Tanner Boyle -- the foul-mouthed and ill-tempered short-stop; but they're missing a few key pieces from their championship run. For some reason, their old coach, Buttermaker, and pitching ace, Amanda, have abandoned them. Then, more bad news when they find out their hard-nosed gym teacher, Mr. Manning (Dolph Sweet), has been named interim manager. 

Manning arrives and lays down the law with an iron glove. Engleberg, the team's overweight catcher, mouths off and promptly gets booted off the team. The dismissed Engleberg runs into Kelly Leak (Jackie Earle Haley), the heart, soul, and only discernable talent on the Bear's team, and he promises to straighten things out. Tearing onto the field on his AMF Harley, he uses the engine to drown out Manning. Kelly then tells Manning he's fired and starts flipping kitties on the diamond, the rest of the Bears bolt, so Manning gives up and leaves. As the rest of the Bears congregate around their hellion leader, Kelly asks if they're still heading to Houston. They want to, but don't know how without a coach or a pitcher. Kelly promises to get them there, but when they ask if he plans on playing with them, he isn't sure.

The next day, Kelly returns with Carmen Ronzonni (Jimmy Baio), a fast-talking. mini-me version of the Fonz. Carmen claims to be a pitching whiz, combining several styles and wind-ups from his major-league idols -- including Catfish Hunter, Luis Tiant and Warren Spahn. But Tanner sees right through the blowhard, and his air-balls, and the two come to blows. The team breaks them up as Kelly announces that he has decided to play after all, for reasons he won't divulge, but the team can't go without a coach and chaperone. Kelly has an idea but only if everyone is willing to bend the rules and go along with his devious plan. Challenging the younger Bears, they all decide to go for it. And the plan goes off without a hitch, the Bears convince their parents that the simpleton groundskeeper (Fred Stuthman) is going with them and they all congregate at his house and load up in a really boss looking van with a bitchin' paint job. Their parents say their goodbyes and leave, then the Bears load up and leave the groundskeeper behind, who waves as they go past.

When Carmen asks where Kelly is, Toby says he had to get away because "we were acting like a bunch of retards." We cut to Kelly by the van, lighting a cigarette, and uses the lighter to illuminate a photo he's holding of a mystery man whose identity we don't know yet. Later, Kelly returns to the hotel room and everyone is asleep except for Tanner, who's watching an old movie on the TV -- Knute Rockne: All American. Tanner watches as Van Johnson's Rockne gives his famous inspirational Notre Dame halftime speech about George Gip (Ronald Reagan). 

You know, where he goes "Sometime, when the team is up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper." 

Tanner takes this pledge to heart and modifies it to help fulfill his promise to win one for the Luper. 

The next morning, the Bears are challenged by a group of Native Americans to a baseball game. The playing field is full of obstacles and garbage that the Indians use to their home-field advantage. After the Bears go down in order, the great Ronzonni takes the mound. Tanner's fears prove true as Carmen can't get it over the plate. Then the team fears for their "scalps" when he beans the next player. Things get worse as the Bears revert to their old bumbling ways, Kelly gives Carmen hell for lying to him about his pitching ability, and the massacre is on.

In Houston, Morrie Slayton (Pat Corley), the Toro's coach, meets with Orlansky while his team practices. Orlansky is worried because the Bears are a no show, but Morrie says not to worry and assures him the Bears will show. After Orlansky leaves, Morrie tells one of his assistants to bring in a replacement team, just in case, because Orlansky won't know the difference.

Despite several hundred side of the road pit stops for Engleberg to take a dump, the Bears do make it to Houston and get their first glimpse of the Astrodome. The only place they can afford to stay is a seedy hotel in the wrong side of town, and, unfortunately, Kelly parked the stolen van in a no parking zone bringing them to the attention of the Houston police. The investigating detective (Lane Smith) takes pity on them and promises that if the van checks out, and if they can find someone to take them in, they can stay. Otherwise, he'll send them home. Kelly says he'll go and get their coach. The other Bears don't have a clue as to who he means but keep their fingers crossed.

Kelly tracks down the man in the photo, who turns out to be his father; Mike Leak (William Devane). The two haven't seen each other for several years, and Mike doesn't recognize him at first, but is glad to see him. Kelly lets him in on what's going on, the ballgame, how they got there, and how they need a coach for the weekend. And I assume some massive absentee father guilt has a major influence on Mike's decision as he decides to help out. Taking Mike back to the hotel, the elder Leak confers with the authorities who turn the motley crew, turned media darlings, over to him. Several newspapers and TV stations have arrived to interview the team and are smitten with the story of what these kids did to get here to win the ball game for their injured friend back home. (Are news days usually that slow in Houston? Don't they get nuked off the map in every other disaster film? C'mon...)

They all load up in Mike's convertible and he takes them to a park so they can practice. Kelly makes it a point to say they don't really need him, except as a chaperone, so Mike takes his paper and sits on the bleachers. Kelly tries to run the practice but the dulcet tones of Bizet's "Carmen" sneaks onto the soundtrack so we know trouble lies ahead. 53 errors later, the practice dissolves into a scrum pile. Kelly gives up and storms off, but  Mike breaks up the wrestling match and the team admits that they're not called the "Bad News" Bears for nothing. (Remember, this was back when bad still meant bad. Really bad. Bad BAD. Stinky poo-poo caca bad!) And if Mike has anything in mind that can help them, they're all ears. He agrees to help but we cans sense some bad things brewing between father and estranged son.

Moving on to the Astrodome, they're shocked to find out they've been replaced by a team from El Paso. Mike calms them down and finds Sy Orlansky, watching in the stands, and reveals Morrie's trickery of trying to pass the other team off as the Bears. Orlansky loves all the publicity the Bears have been getting and tells Morrie to send the other team home. And while Mike gets the Bears working on the fundamentals, Ogilve goes to work on a little espionage and checks out the Toros. Several local girls fall for the gangly youth from California and they fill him in all the Toro players. Practice continues and the Bears are amazed with Mike's baseball skills. Mike also razzes Kelly about his smoking and tells him to lose the cigarettes. They almost have it out, then and there, but Engleberg interrupts, saying Carmen is all over the place with his pitches. So Mike tells Carmen to cut out all the mimicking and to just throw the ball. Carmen loses the act and smokes several pitches over the plate for strikes. (He's just as shocked as the rest of us.)

Ogilve returns and reports they're only hope is a rain out; and since they're playing in a dome, they're doomed. Mike ignores him and runs more fielding drills and rips into Kelly again when he refuses to participate. Kelly realizes he's losing the team to his dad and doesn't like it. Losing his temper, he walks off the practice field and Mike realizes he may have pushed a little too hard. Outside, Kelly runs into several Toro players who taunt him. Kelly ignores them until they take potshots at his dad. They almost fight but Kelly regains control, but the Toros continue to ride him as he walks past them. His rage brews as his pace quickens and soon he's at a dead sprint. 

That night, back at the hotel (the team has moved into fancier digs thanks to Orlansky), the Bears watch themselves on the news. Mike finds Kelly in a pool hall and tries to talk things out because he's stuck with a bunch of kids who say they can't play without him; so he wants to know if Kelly's going to play or quit. They both realize that their problem runs a little deeper than a baseball game. Kelly rips into Mike for leaving him eight years ago, and when Mike tries to counter, things get a little nasty and they don't part on the best of terms. 

After a night of soul searching, Kelly surprises everyone by showing up to play after all. In the locker room, Tanner translates Rockne's speech, the best he can, and encourages them all to win one for the Luper.

As the Bear's take the field, the size of the stadium and sold out crowd is a little overwhelming. Tanner stares up at the ceiling, gets dizzy, and falls down; Ahmed grows excited when he sees his name up on the big scoreboard; and Carmen takes the mound and tries to warm up, but his pitches bounce well before reaching home plate. He panics until the groundskeeper moves the rubber up several feet, to Little League regulations; Carmen thanks him for saving his life.

When the game gets underway, the Bears get two quick outs but eventually surrender two runs to the showboating Toros on a two-run homer by their catcher. Ogilve had him scouted and warned Carmen not to throw a fastball -- but quickly found out to not try a change-up either.

In the second, the Toros come out swinging again. When the dust settles, another homerun puts them up 5-0 as the big Astrodome Scoreboard goes wild with a lightshow and sound effects.

I understand that several Houstonians still haven't forgiven former Houston Oilers owner Bud Adams for demanding the removal of that famous scoreboard for more seats. Of course, to pour more salt in that wound, Adams eventually moved the whole blasted franchise to Tennessee. The Astros have also left, so I honestly have no idea what goes on in the Astrodome these days. Back to the review!

The Bears come to bat again and Kelly manages to get a double. Next, Jimmy fouls out but Toby singles, moving Kelly over to third. Jose lifts a shallow fly ball to left. Mike tells Kelly to tag up, the throw comes home, and Kelly is out at the plate, squandering the Bears scoring opportunity. After that third out, the Bears try and take the field again but an official rushes out and stops play. The four inning exhibition game that's taking place between a double-header between the Astros and the Cincinnati Reds has taken too long and is being called off after two innings. (If a trip to Japan is at stake, I don't know if it should be settled in just four innings.) 

The Toros are declared the winners and celebrate. In their dugout, the Bears watch dejectedly. On the diamond, Tanner refuses to yield the field of play. Screaming that they've got to keep playing for the Luper, he eludes two security officials, dodging, ducking and chucking the bases at them. The Astros players watch (in those awesome rainbow striped uniforms) and one player speaks up (who I think was Bob Watson) and says let the kids play and finish their game. With the crowd really into the spectacle Tanner is providing on the field, Mike takes up the player's suggestion and charges the crowd to let the kids play. Kelly joins him and the rest of the Bears follow. Soon the chant of "let them play" is booming in the Astrodome. 

The giant scoreboard flashes "Play Ball!" The game is back on.

That's all well and good, but the Bears are still down by five runs. They manage to stay out of more trouble, and with a nifty double-play, get out of jam. Ahmed leads off the next inning, rhyming like Muhammad Ali, and smacks a triple. Two batters later, Kelly parks one over the fence. But that's all the runs they can get before the last inning. Down 5-2, the Bears get one out on a grounder to third. Then Carmen gets the next batter on strikes, but the next Toro legs out a single. Ogilve recognizes him from his scouting report as the team leader in stolen bases and warns Mike to watch out for him. Asking for time, Mike heads to the pitcher's mound and calls in all his infielders. He takes the ball from Carmen and secretly gives it to Toby. Mike tells Carmen to stall. While Toby returns to first base, Carmen sweats it out on the mound. He works on his wind up and checks the runner on first who finally takes his lead off the bag. Toby quickly tags him for the third out. (Little Big League so ripped this movie off.)

So the Bears come up for the final at bat in the bottom of the last inning. Now I'm scratching my head at this point, 'cuz Mike must have pulled off some kind of quadruple, double-switch because his batting order just went haywire. Toby, who batted behind Kelly two innings ago, now hits ahead of him and singles. Ogilve comes off the bench as part of this scheme to pinch-hit next. He grounds out but advances the runner to second. Which brings Kelly to the plate again. (Okay, if I were Morrie I'd be protesting right now because this can't be legal.) He smacks a single and Toby winds up on third. Then Miguel strikes out on three pitches, bringing Stein, the last player off the bench, to pinch hit. And Stein does what Stein does best and gets hit by a pitch to load the bases. So the Bears last hope falls on Carmen (and I ponder why Kelly isn't allowed to be the hero? Or the goat, as I don't want to get ahead of myself here). Carmen works the count full, then smokes a bases clearing double, tying the score; but then the Toro's defense breaks down. The outfielder bobbles the ball allowing Carmen to advance to third. Then the cut-off man botches the relay throw and it skitters away, so Mike yells at Carmen to head for home.

There's a play at the plate -- and this time Carmen beats the throw and the Bears win the game 6-5. The soundtrack erupts into the cannon fusillade from the "1812 Overture" as the Bears celebrate their victory. In the tunnels below the stadium, as they head back to their locker room, Mike and Kelly break the ice and show signs of a possible reconciliation and walk away together.

The End

As with any franchise that shows a modicum of success, it seems a sequel is inevitable and The Bad News Bears was no different. For the second go round, gone are Walter Matthau and Tatum O'Neal, to be replaced by William Devane and Jimmy Baio. This reduction in star power isn't the film's biggest hurdle, though. Breaking Training is done in, mostly, by something we've all been through (or going to go through) called puberty, and the film shows it's growing pains.

All the Bears are back except Amanda and Reggie. All the actors are back, too, except for Jeff Starr who takes over for Gary Cavagnaro as the pudgy catcher, Engleberg. I honestly miss Cavagnaro in this film. As a pudgy little leaguer myself in the old Mid-Rivers League when these films came out, Cavagnaro's Engleberg was my hero. Aside from Kelly, he was the only other player who could hit, and his prickly attitude about his weight killed me. Frankly, Starr ruined the character for me, turning Engleberg into a grotesque caricature with his constant feeding frenzies, whining, uncontrollable bowels and curiously misplaced southern accent that keeps surfacing when he's stressed.

Now, the first film was a vehicle for Matthau, and all the youngsters were supporting characters. Here, they're the whole show. Gone is all the biting commentary and black humor, replaced with silly antics and hi-jinks -- this time to the tune of Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture" -- justified with a bare-bones attempt at a reconciliation between estranged father and son as our moral of the day. I think Haley could have carried the film on his own if his character was given something to do besides pose on his Harley and look cool while lighting a cigarette before brooding. And since Devane doesn't show up until the film's half over, the film lands in Baio's and the rest of the Bear's lap, and they, like their on screen counterparts, drop the ball badly.

A lot of this can be blamed on Paul Brickman's script -- part of which is left out, but shows up later in Risky Business. Brickman wrote the scripts for both films. Originally, Carmen was supposed to talk about how he scored with a babysitter that basically winds up, word for word, in the later film. And I would hazard a guess that at least half the Bears players have hit puberty sometime between sequels, and it's painfully obvious. As I said in the last review, what makes The Bad News Bears so great is that the kids act like kids. In Breaking Training, they're acting like little movie stars who've got a hit movie under their belts. The language is toned down and it appears there's an equal time clause in everyone's contract. 

The paperback novelization of the film explains away quite a few plot holes in the movie, like why the Bears are playing the Toros and not the champion Yankees. It seems Buttermaker knew Orlansky and convinced him to take the Bears instead. It also explains where the stolen van came from, and why they didn't get in trouble for it because the owner refused to press charges. However, it doesn't explain the Bear's mysteriously shifting batting order (admittedly a problem in the first film as well) or why the the creators decided to let Carmen get the winning hit and not Kelly.

So what it all boils down to is this: The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training is a no-frills, by-the-numbers sequel that didn't take a lot of chances and played it safe. It gave the audience what they wanted; it lets Kelly be cool, Ogilve be a geek, Engleberg be fat, Ahmed to be sassy and Tanner to lose his temper, much to our delight. Aren't they cute?

Well, yeah, they are. Breaking Training is harmless and can be fun when viewed as a juvenile fantasy come to life: Tricking your parents and road tripping with a rebel in a boss van, picking up beautiful hitchhikers and playing baseball in an actual Major League stadium is the stuff of any eight year-old's dream. And when I was eight, as I was when I saw this in the theater many moons ago, I thought it was awesome. The only problem is, now I'm 33 and it just doesn't hold up anymore. And for me, the poster child for arrested development, that's really a damning statement.

Posted: 10/21/03. Copy and paste at your own legal risk.

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